I Have Trouble Taking Care Of My Teeth Because Everything That Involves Doing That Is A Sensory Nightmare.

Pals, I’m gonna tell you one of those hard truths, and I hope that you can read this and think about it in the spirit in which it’s intended.

The vast majority of you do not have “triggers”, you have “squicks”. If you learn the difference, I promise you will be happier and healthier, and you will feel much MUCH less as if all media is attempting to personally attack and traumatize you. 

It is ABSOLUTELY LEGIT to dislike something in a piece of media, or to feel disgusted and revolted by it, or to have an aversion to it for any reason and to any degree. That’s normal! That’s absolutely normal, and if that has happened to you, then you are normal too.

But… Words matter. Words have power. There is a difference between “disgust” and “trauma response” – if a person without PTSD or other forms of trauma calls something that disgusts them a “trigger”, they are giving that thing undue and dangerous power over them. You do not have to legitimize your disgust, because your feelings are already valid. But saying “this triggers me” if it doesn’t actually trigger you in the clinical definition means that you are voluntarily giving up some of your own power and agency to the thing you dislike. It means that you are allowing the thing to have a disproportionate impact on your life, that you are giving it power to affect you and get under your skin and stay there. You are building it up into something much more terrifying and monstrous and serious than it deserves to be. Calling it a “squick” makes you bigger than the thing that’s grossing you out – it makes the gross thing into something that you can have power over, that you can vanquish and reject and entirely discard from your life according to your own whimsy. (For those of you who aren’t familiar with the term “squick”, it’s something you don’t like which causes that icky squirmy “ew! no thanks!” feeling. Here’s the Fanlore page for more detail.)

We live in a society that wants to take power away from so many of us at all costs. Nobody hands you power or agency or confidence or strength – you have to claim those for yourself. If you have the ability to take control over something that squicks you, do it. Stand up for yourself and your media experience, and use the word that gives you power. You can turn your back on a squick and walk away without more than a lingering “ugh” feeling; it is almost impossible to do that with a trigger. A trigger ruins your whole day (ask me how I know!).

Words have power. Disgust is a normal human emotion. Your feelings are valid even when they’re not severe and catastrophic. 

Things that don’t make you a bad person:

Displaying “scary” symptoms of mental illness

Being diagnosed with multiple disorders

Having one or various personality disorders

Being diagnosed with NPD, BPD, or ASPD

Having very low empathy, or no empathy

Having symptoms that cause anger, emptiness, or paranoia

Having triggers or “strange” personal boundaries

Needing extra help or accommodations

Having intrusive thoughts about upsetting or scary topics

Simone Biles saying “Mental health is more important than sports” on the biggest platform she could have possibly done it from is why she’s incredible, actually

your bare minimum isn’t actually that bare or minimum. my dad once told me that there’s nothing in this world that’s easy and that’s true tbh. everything we do takes energy, time, and effort. even the little things. if you feel like you’re not doing enough please try to think about your circumstances and what’s currently available to you: chances are, there’s something that’s diverting or otherwise draining you. and to pull away from that and get something done regardless? well, i think that’s really admirable! please try to take pride in the things you do accomplish in a day, no matter how small or trifling you perceive them to be. you can’t be proud of your growth if you don’t notice where you already are!

for anyone who needs to hear it 💫

Leia Organa - Bipolar Pride

“I’m not crazy- That bitch is!” - Carrie Fisher

(bipolar pride flag by @bipolarings !)

[Image description: four slides with black text on a light blue background that read as follows: 

Victim blaming by abusive parents looks like… “You’re disrespecting me by having boundaries that are inconvenient to me. Therefore, I’m entitled to hurt you.” “You know I get mad when you do this and you did it anyway, so it’s your fault I hit you/yelled at you/belittled you.” “You’re hurting my feelings by accusing me of being a bad parent.” “What have I done to deserve this?” (Usually as a reaction to you establishing boundaries). “You’re tearing this family apart (by fighting back against the abuse).” “You’re a bad child. Look at all the bad things YOU’VE done to ME.” (often, those things are trauma reactions, like avoiding their presence or acting behind their backs). (When you try to hold them accountable) “Oh, I forgot, you’re always right and I’m always wrong. Nobody cares about me or my feelings. I do everything for you and this is what I get in exchange.”

In reality… Every person is responsible for their actions. You didn’t make them abuse you—they CHOSE to abuse you. You have the right to be able to establish boundaries without fear of punishment. You have the right to have your needs met. Your trauma reactions are not something you’re doing to disrespect them—they’re something your body is doing to protect you from harm. End image description] 

These are just some examples of things abusers say to frame their abusive actions as the victim’s fault (taken from personal experience and the stories of people who have messaged me). Feel free to add your own examples if they’re not listed here and if you want to help spread awareness about what victim-blaming looks like!

And remember: abuse is never the victim’s fault.

What does guilt-tripping by abusive parents look like?

What does gaslighting by abusive parents look like?

joy will help you heal.

this applies to everything from “staying home sick from school is easier if you play a low-stress game you like between naps instead of wallowing in your snotty misery” all the way up to “grief and trauma is hard, i understand, but learning to live for yourself again means cherishing all the good moments on purpose”

it may not be everything you need to get better – but joy will help you heal, i promise.

if you’re a mentally ill adult, especially if you’re psychotic or have bipolar, i highly recommend you look into getting a psychiatric advance directive. basically they’re a form you can fill out where you can specify what kind of treatment you want and don’t want in the case that you ever get legally declared incompetent. normally, getting declared incompetent means that psychiatrists take away your right to make decisions about your mental health care. for example, they can force you to take medications you don’t want or institutionalize you longterm without your consent. also the state appoints someone they choose to legally “consent” in your place.

what a psychiatric advance directive does is put limits on what the psychiatrists assigned to you can do. you can appoint your own person to be your legal representative, someone you trust who knows you and cares about you. you can also specify what hospitals you don’t want to be sent to or what doctors you don’t want to see or medications you don’t want to take or whether or not you consent to electroconvulsive treatment. you can also say what you do want, like i put down that they decided to institutionalize me, i wanted it to be at a specific psych ward i’d already been to and had a not terrible time at. and now, if i ever get declared incompetent, psychiatrists are legally not allowed to put me back on the meds that gave me a seizure. 

nobody wants to be legally declared incompetent. it’s really scary to think about, but it does happen, especially to people with psychosis or bipolar disorder. it’s better to have legal safeguards in place ahead of time and not need them than to get declared incompetent and not have an advance directive

dam…….. that website “you feel like shit” (it’s like a questionnaire / troubleshooting guide for when you feel like shit) really works………………….. im not even all the way thru it and i even half-assed a lot of the suggestions and i already feel loads better