Batfam Nerf War...

Okay, but like...

Jason Todd coaching a little league team called the Outlaws.

And trying to keep it from literally everyone he knows.

Because he adores these kids, but he knows he'd catch hell if anyone found out.

Tim finds out first.

Of course he does this is Timothy Drake we're talking about.

Jason expects Tim to use this as blackmail. He's surprised when Tim doesn't. Even more surprised when Tim starts showing up for all their games, and becomes the most enthusiastic fan.

Cass follows Tim to a game one day. Gets as invested in these Baseball playing babies as Tim is.

Everything is all fine and dandy for a while... until Damian discovers the team.

Of course being the little demon he is, he forms a plan to destroy the team. "The team is a distraction to Todd and must be eliminated". So the little shit joins the team without Jason’s knowledge. His plan was was to start rumors and divide the team until it fell apart.

Buuuuut, turns out Damian Wayne likes baseball.

So now we have nearly half the wayne family invested in this team of 13 year old baseball players.

No one really knows how Barbara found out. She just started join Tim and Cass for the games.

Steph and Duke start showing up not long after. Showing up with enough snacks to feed a small nation.

The Wayne family turns out to be very enthusiastic... so much so that it makes headlines...

Annnnnnd that's how Dick Grayson joined the group.

And they thought the others were obnoxious...

This grown ass man shows up with a 6 by 2 foot banner that says "GO OUTLAWS" in giant glittery letters. He bring face paint and T-shirts for all the parents. Really he just gets way too into it.

Jason and Damian are mortified...

When Bruce sees the headlines, he thinks it's adorable. Of course he joins in all the shenanigans, just a little less chaotic.

Alfred just sits back and watches. He knew the whole time. He was the one to suggest Jason coach the team in the first place

Batfam quotes as things my family has said

Dick: hey, you want to go get Starbucks

Jason: Sur-

*loud footsteps sprinting down the hallway*

Tim: *slides around corner* CoFfEe?!

*silence*

Damian: you need professional help.

Cows and Licorice

Ameice (America × Iceland)

Rating: Everyone

Prompt: Language

Wrote this for day 1 of rare pair week! @aphrarepairweek2021

There wasn’t a day that went by that Emil wasn’t amazed by his boyfriend. Between his charisma, intellect, and ability to do and say the most random things, there was never a boring day. For example, Alfred built a replica of the white house out of waffles last Wednesday. Emil was too impressed to be upset about the mess Alfred made in the kitchen. 

    One of Alfred’s coolest tricks is his knack for languages. English, French, Spanish, Portugese, you name it. He can speak it. Except for Icelandic…

    Emil doesn’t mind translating for Alfred, he actually quite enjoys it. There’s this satisfaction that he gets from having this ‘one up’ on his boyfriend. But of course, Emil acts like a moody teenager constantly. At this point it’s involuntary, he just approaches every situation with sarcasm. And so, to avoid “annoying you my dude” Alfred set out to learn Icelandic…

“... and after we come back from the restaurant and the carnival, I’ll give him the big surprise!” Alfred took a big breath. “So, what do you think?” Matthew sighed on the other end of the phone, “I think it’s sweet, but it seems like a lot of work. Also, Emil isn't really a “big plans” type of person. Don’t you think he’d just like to spend an evening in?” True, Emil doesn’t really like people. But he would love this surprise. “Aw come on Matt! He’ll love it!” Alfred was beaming. He really out did himself this time, this is going to be the best anniversary yet!. 

    Emil had on a pair of black slacks and a gray button down. Alfred had told him to wear something nice. He looked at himself in the mirror, “This is nice enough, right?” He shrugged, it doesn't matter what he wears as long as he thinks he looks good. 

    He heads downstairs. “Hey good lookin’! I haven’t seen you bust out the slacks in a while.” Emil blushes slightly. “You told me to look nice… wait… are you wearing that fancy cologne that Francis got you for Christmas?” It was Alfred’s turn to blush. “Yeah, I was saving it for special occasions.”

    The two headed out to this fancy restaurant downtown. It was nice and quiet, which Emil liked. On the way home, the pair stopped for ice cream. Alfred got some rainbow sugar-sugar ice cream, Emil got black licorice. It was late by the time they got back home. The two settled in to watch one of those cheesy Hallmark movies.

    When the movie ended, Alfred pulls Emil onto the back porch. “You have more planned?” He asks. Alfred flashes him that brilliant smile, “Of course! This is our fifth anniversary!” Emil smils, he loves this dorky man. “Close your eyes!” Emil closes his eyes. 

“Okay, you can open them.”

Emil gasps, Alfred to standing there with a bouquet of flowers. But they're not real flowers. Each flower is made of black licorice twisted and shaped into a flower. It's personal and sweet. Only Alfred and his family would do something like this for him. "I love it Alfred." Alfred smiles. 

Then, he says three words in Icelandic. Emil stops in his tracks and just stares at Alfred for a moment. "What?" Alfred repeats the phrase. It starts as a chuckle and escalates into loud, belly laughter. Alfred looks very offended and confused by Emil's reaction. Emil finally caught his breath enough to reply to Alfred. "Do… do you know what you just said" Alfred huffs, "yes! I said that I love you!" Emil laughs harder, "No Al, you just called me a cow." Alfred looks mortified, "what...I…I didn't mean too! Matthias told me that is how you say I love you." Emil smirks, "He lied." Alfred runs a hand down his face. "I'm so sorry Emil. I messed it all up." Emil put his hands on the side of Alfred face. " you didn't mess anything up. You planned a wonderful evening. This gift was so thoughtful, doesn't matter is Matthias who I am going to strangle later messed it up. I love all of it, just like I love you."

They kissed.

Batfam quotes as things my family has said

Dick: *walks outside without a coat in the middle of winter* oshabooshabrrrrr

Tim: did you just... what the hell was that?

Dick: it's cold...

Tim: and your first reaction is "oshabooshabrrr"?

Part 9!

He can fix everything. He can duct tape it all into the fluffiest family bonding~

Part 1

no capes! batfam, but they still stop crime just by accident

bruce wayne, drunk as hell, wanting to go home from a gala: hey dick, you can drive right? 14 year old dick whose experience from driving is a plastic kids' car: yeah sure i can

WE DID IT! WE FUCKING DID IT!

THE CINCINNATI BENGALS ARE GOING TO THE DAMN SUPERBOWL.

YOU BET YOUR ASS I'M GOING TO BE WATCHING THAT GAME WITH A VAT OF BUFFALO CHICKEN DIP AND A BAG OF VEGGIE STRAWS.

Second night in a row! Fucking Mandela Cataloge.

It like 10:40 and my brain is like "hey remember the face of the category 2 Alternates in the Mandela Cataloge"...

@oliveid

ninja turtles are here for projecting and processing grief, apparently.

i've seen lots of 'the death of future donnie' comics, most recently ofc being from @somerandomdudelmao (i went back and forth abt tagging but then decided i would, because this is directly their fault,) and then, of course, all the fan content that was made in response to said comic... and i love seeing so many people make so much awesome work! but it's also really fucking sad.

so often in the real world, there are no goodbyes, no dying in the arms of a loved one, no heroic sacrifices, there's just... death. people just die and it sucks. especially because in real life there's also no cool storyboarder assuring you that there's gonna be a happy ending and you'll see them again. and so it's like... then what?

i dunno. i was just sad about it for a while, and i wasn't really sure what to do with that, but i guess this is my answer. sometimes you don't get to say goodbye or hold them when they leave you, and you dunno if you'll get to see them again. but you can still have the mark they left on the world and hang onto that. because no matter what, once upon a time, they were there, and you remember. other people probably do, too.

I am absolutely obsessed with Keferons Mecha Pilot Jazz AU

So my brain had to cook a little somthin up…

I plan to update at least once a week. Best case scenario, twice a week cuz the chapters are small…

:)