Have I Ever Mentioned How Strained My Relationship With God Was Growing Up? Because From A Young Age,

In the garden and Summer, 1890s

Thomas Wilmer Dewing

pie pngs ♡

Day 11:

What should you attract into your life?

I want to attract more positivity into my life. I myself want to be more positive about myself, my situation, and my life but I also want my surroundings to radiate positivity as well. I do not want to be surrounded by people who dwell in negativity because that will seep into my life. I already feel like I have something attached to me that bleeds me dry most days and surrounding myself by someone who digs that wound deeper is not what I need during this time.

And while I want to eliminate the negativity altogether, unfortunately, I am in a situation that leaves little room for positivity. I know that I should not be putting this into the universe but like I said, I feel like there is some sort of cosmic vengeance that hangs over me 24/7. It is a cruel joke most days if I am being honest, for everything to be going great and then have it all come crumbling down tenfold.

At some point, I think I want to perform a return-to-sender ritual because someone has to be wishing ill upon our whole family. There is just no way that we all have been dealt the nastiest cards if someone was not putting it into the universe.

aura

Day 3:

What do you love most about yourself?

The thing that I love the most about myself, physically, is my smile. I am biased but I think that I have an awesome smile. I have never had braces and my teeth are perfectly straight and I have dimples on each side. My smile is something that I am extremely grateful for because I know that if I had needed braces when I was younger, my parents would not have been able to afford them. I like to joke that it is the best thing that my parents have given me to date.

The thing that I love the most about myself, internally, is that I am adaptable. I can mold myself to almost any situation and I always try my best not to complain. If I am thrust into a scenario where I do not know anyone, I will mingle and make friends as I go. It is a daunting feeling because it forces me to step out of my comfort zone but I can't remember a time where I have ever regretted it.

I have plenty of insecurities but these are the two things I am confident about.

Shadow Work Prompts

With my last post being about shadow work, I thought I’d give y’all some prompts to use.

How does the feeling of envy show up in your life?

What do you need more of in your life?

What do you love most about yourself?

If you could get rid of one bad memory, what would it be and why?

In what ways are you inauthentic?

What irrational fears do you have and how do they hold you back?

Do you hold grudges against others that could be let go? What’s your motive for holding onto them?

What do you hate about others? Why? What might that say about yourself?

What do you need to stop running away from?

What do you need to let go of?

What should you attract into your life?

How do you feel about “love”?

Why do you think you don’t deserve love?

What do you minimize about yourself? What do you flaunt?

How do you deal with criticism?

How do you perceive pain?

Why haven’t you dealt with your past before?

What don’t you like about your life? Why? How can you change it?

How often do you lie to yourself and what about?

What emotion(s) do you try to avoid? Why don’t you want to feel those ways?

Write a letter to someone who hurt you and then burn it.

How does your inner child see you?

How are you deceiving yourself?

What does success mean to you? How are you standing in your own way?

What is going on in your life that you are actively ignoring?

What keeps you motivated?

What inspires you?

Who or what is making your life difficult? How can you deal with it constructively?

How have you been betrayed in your life? What did it teach you?

How has your voice been stifled in the past?

What areas of your life do you excel in?

What are the most important/integral things you have learned over the past few years?

In what ways are you too defensive? Why?

How are you pessimistic in your own life?

Why do you not trust others?

What hardships have you overcome? How has it changed you?

What are you doing to pursue your dreams?

What do you still need to forgive yourself for?

What did that relationship teach you? (you know the one… that one)

How can you maintain your individuality?

In what ways can you be more true to yourself?

In what ways are you lying to yourself? Why?

How can you lead with your heart in your life?

How have your dreams fallen short of reality?

What is your relationship with your mother like?

What is your relationship with your father like?

Write a letter to your inner child. Maybe apologize for what has happened to them and that you couldn’t protect them, tell them how far you have come and how much you have done. Say whatever comes to mind.

How have you been a martyr/victim in your own life?

I’ll keep this post updated with more prompts when I find them

What are your self-sabotaging habits?

After MUCH self-reflection, I have realized that I have several things that I do that have led to me sabotaging myself. I doubt myself at every turn, I compare myself to other, and I never follow through for many things.

And if that isn't the holy trinity of a sure way to fail, I don't know what is.

For some reason, every time I start to think of the future or even think of starting a relationship with someone, doubt is the first thing that creeps into my mind. There's a really good job that I want to transition to? NOPE, they would never hire me. You really want to be in a relationship with that guy you really like? NOPE, he is only using you and wants someone skinnier. I don't know why my brain is set up to automatically put me down but that is something I am unlearning. As soon as any inkling of self-doubt starts creeping in I try to nip it in the bud. Because the first thing you learn when manifesting is that there should be no doubt, whatever I want is already mine. Why wouldn't I be able to start a new job? They would be lucky to have someone with so many transferable skills. Why wouldn't a man I am talking to want to get in a relationship? They would be lucky to have someone like me with so much love to give.

Something else I have had to unlearn is to stop comparing myself to others. I was busy trying to survive and I'm finally at a place where I know I can do so much more with my life. I love my friends and family and want nothing but the best for them but I find myself wishing I was at the same place in life they're currently at. Or even seeing someone on the street and wishing I looked like them. Comparison is the root of all my evils and I'm trying my best to celebrate myself everyday instead of trying to fix myself. I have many flaws but I am perfect the way I am. I would not change anything about me because it made me the person I am today. I am so much more compassionate, loving, and understanding because of the live I have been dealt and I am better for it.

Finally, another habit I am trying to break is building positive habits and actually sticking to them. Like eating healthier, keeping my spaces clean, keeping up with schoolwork, or even working out consistently. These are all things I have struggled with in the past but I am determined to be different this year. I am only 31 and I have so much life left and I don't want to spend it wondering "what if?" I had just stuck to my goals. Because "what if it all works out?"

Heart Frog and Butterfly Frog by Nat Power.

16 Shadow work prompts/ideas:

You can keep a journal, write and distroy it, or meditate on those questions and prompts.

Write an apology letter to yourself.

Why am I injured?

How do I honestly believe I am?

What does my childhood me need the most?

Am I hiding something from myself?

What are your self-sabotaging habits?

recognize those bad patterns.

What are my red flags and green flags?

Why do I struggle with ------?

Do I judge people?

What are the things I judge people for, but I do the same for myself?

Did you regret something?

What are your deepest fears and how have they held you back in life?

What is your love language and destructive act?

What is the worst feeling?

Do you recognize your feelings?