“Ugh 😣 I Hate Bi Paople Invading Lgbt Spaces”

“There’s no point crying over spilt milk”

Yes there is it makes me feel better fuck you

Ok i dont wanna judge but the person next to me on the bus this morning spent the entire time looking at stock images of people with turtlenecks covering their faces

Like they didn’t even have headphones just screenshotting pictures of people wearing turtlenecks over their faces for like. Thirty minutes.

My insincerest apologies

Sell me your bones. You're not even using them, you're just holding them. They're going to be all gross and worn down by the time you're done with them, and I need them for something!!

:(

No bonetaking? Give me your voice!! I just want to borrow it, I promise I'll give it back!!!

Why can't I just borrow your skin, I'll only wear it for a few minutes!! I just want to try it on!!

Your eyes would look better on me....

God, you people are terrible!!! I promise I won't break anything!!!! Give me your body parts!!! I need them for,,, uh,,,,,, Something Important!!!

Time for a nonsensical rant!

Teleportation could cure cancer!

There are two commonly accepted methods of teleportation: one, which uses ✨spooky magic✨to move you instantly somewhere else, and a second, which scans you, clones you in the other location, and kills the original “you.”

Assuming it catalogues what cells you have, when it clones you it could avoid cloning the cancer cells. Problem is, you might have a couple holes in place of the cancer, which is Not Good. To fix this, it would either need to double-clone some cells to fill the holes, or create entirely new cells. It could also take cells from another person, but that has the same ramifications as the Organ Donor Problem, so we’ll rule that out. Double-cloning cells to fill the holes is the best option. Cells already duplicate by cloning (mitosis) so this makes more logical sense than the second option, creating new cells. You could also use stem cells, but it would probably take much longer.

This method probably wouldn’t work for brain cancer, because that’s where the alive is stored. :(

You know what, tumblr? I’m going to have a good day. Yesterday was probably the worst day I’ve had all year, due to lots of coincidences.( @celeste-the-witch made my day a lot better though <3)

Today is going to be better though. I’m going to have a good fucking day because I said so, and your thoughts determine your reality. I’m going to have some hot chocolate and a muffin, I’m going to have a delicious lunch, and I’m going to invite my friends over once I get home. And my period isn’t going to fuck it up, because I fucking said so!

Bigot: I don’t really get how [sexuality/gender identity] works, it’s not real!!!

Ok man, I don’t really get how cars work, so they must not be real. You can’t drive your dumbass tinfoil box anymore, I decided it doesn't exist.

And the most recently acquired/youngest: Pepper!

She’s almost two, she’s just very small. She weighs seven pounds and has a proportionate amount of intelligence. (None) Her hobbies include: licking her butthole, licking her siblings’ buttholes, biting her siblings, making Expressions® ™, running face first into walls and doors, stealing bread, purring incredibly loudly, standing on her hind legs and staring distressedly, screaming, falling down the stairs, and being wet for mysterious reasons.

(Nicknames include: stupid, dummy, gross, salt, beps, meeps, sweetie, idiot, and baby)

Here he is! The reason we keep all the toilets closed, the one who had to be put on a diet at seven months old, the one who currently weighs eighteen pounds, the man of the hour, Ladies, gentlemen, and anyone outside or between, I give you, POE

(Various nicknames include fatcat, tubbs, the Poe-parazzi, water boi, and most notably, Po-Po)

Hngnnhnhnhnhnnh I’m so tired all I want to do is sleep but every time I lay down my legs are like “wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww” and i have to stand back up because laying down is physically unbearable ughgghhugh im so tired please let me sleep JHGGBNNBJJNNNJJNNNNNNBBGGNBVGTGVVGVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

there is an evil little man in my knees and he wont let me sleep, he wont stop sending electricity. let me sleep. please.

Google is being unhelpful

LET ME SLEEP YOU EVIL LITTLE MAN AND GET OUT OF MY KNEEEEEEEES

Fuck it this goes in my main blog

do you guys know about the internet roadtrip? right now somewhere between 500 and 900 people are collectively 'driving' a car on google street view trying to make it to canada. it's fun i recommend it