"What Reminds You Of Home?" Chores And Cleaning, Evidently.

Homemaker-❤️

I crossed paths with a fe.itan! The internet is truly a magical place

Really though. It is exhausting to have to pretend to be human.

I must say, being involved with the kin community on a genuine level is still something I value, but I am not certain how much I still identify with it. This blog will remain standing of course, but I may discuss spirituality on a more general level.

Quite interesting really, to see the same themes from roughly eight years ago resurfacing once again, though with a much different emotional flavor to it.

I love being a psychological kin who later went spiritual, I love this man, I am this man, I've dissected his psyche and found myself and I was always meant to have found myself, I don't recognize myself in seeing him but I sometimes expect to see him when I look in the mirror.

I am doing the strangest, most intimate waltz with this character and I would have it no other way.

Interesting playlist development in not just including quieter music and synthpop but also including alt rock and post punk

I'm so interested, seems like fragments usually only encompass one emotion or event but he has multiple! I feel him in shame and guilt, but also in pride and competence, in achievement and childlike wonder in the world. He has some of his own memories, thoughts and feelings in the world, so he seems more complex than a fragment but less so than a fictive or any osdd alter.

Truthfully, it feels like so intensely that love is at the core of it all. I loved him so much that he become a permanent protector for me, helping me process my feelings and directing my attention to where it's needed most. Love is the overarching theme of my recovery and this is so fitting to see of him.

I don't know if I'll find a true label for him, and that's certainly okay. I love him, I love seeing how he views the world, and I'm glad to have that shared with me. That tattoo of his wings means I'll carry him with me forever, and I could not feel more honored to do so.

Tomorrow marks the two year anniversary of me publicly using the name Shai for myself and I'm already beginning to feel emotional about it..

I'm not entirely sure what I've even read this year, though I may post some pictures of my personal library in place of a reading list; there's a few books I know for certain I've read this year, but I feel it may be an incomplete list.. I may actually list the ones I know for certain and separately list the ones I'm not sure of.

The nature of this blog means that it would be a fantastic place for me to catalogue my reading; it's also making me face the unfortunate reality of seeing that I don't seem to be reading very much this year..