Really Though. It Is Exhausting To Have To Pretend To Be Human.

Sunset Daggerwing (𝑀𝑎𝑟𝑝𝑒𝑠𝑖𝑎 𝑓𝑢𝑟𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑎), family Nymphalidae, Colombia

photograph by Michael Garcia

🦋

Hello all. You may call me Shai; I am 24, use he/him pronouns, and am aromantic and asexual.

I've been identifying with the kin community for roughly two years now, and have designated this blog as a space for me to explore my thoughts and feelings a bit more fully, in a judgment-free space. This blog is also where I'll collect imagery and posts that I identify with. I may occasionally post my own art as well. Some other things you may like to know about me include:

✨️ Psychological and spiritual kin - my identity as fictionkin developed as a method of processing grief and trauma, but I have leaned into the spiritual aspect as well as I find it comforting.

✨️ I am being led to believe that my kin identity is also a result of dissociation, specifically that my kintype constitutes a dissociative fragment.

✨️ Only one kin - Sh.aiapouf from H.unter x Hu.nter.

✨️ Chronically ill - I have Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and, interestingly enough, I use it to connect with my kintype. This condition is genetic and affects all systems in my body, so this is something I will continually discuss here.

✨️ This is a sideblog, my main I follow back and interact from is @/ad.hd-sh.aiapouf

While I am a bit more quiet on this blog, I am online quite frequently and am open for any type of conversation or discussion; in spite of the formality, I swear I'm friendly 💖

Tags for reference:

🦋 Musings 🦋 -> talk tag

👑 -> interior architecture for royal buildings and things that remind me of the past

❤️ -> imagery falling under the lovecore aesthetic

Reminiscing about my trip to Versailles. Feels like a lifetime ago. 

IG: iridessence

Would I be forgiven for including homestuck music in my upbeat "I love being you" playlist

I was initially going to drop a kin playlist, but as I've become a lot more comfortable with my identity I've been making a second and third playlist for various emotions I've been feeling and wonder, would there be any interest in seeing 3 separate kin playlists?

Château de Versailles

Versailles, France, 27 VIII 2023

Playlist Challenge!

I see a lot of “kin playlists” on the “fluffy” side of otherkin tumblr, so I decided to put more thought into a “playlist challenge”! I find it hard to believe that a stranger can “assign” someone a playlist for their personal canon, so why not do it yourself instead?

This is, of course, geared towards fictionkin. However, copinglinkers and otherhearted can also participate!

Despite the tag “ask meme”, this is meant to be one playlist, not a bunch of asks asdfghjk. Though it can be done that way!!

1. A song that personally reminds you of your kintype in general/just has their “vibes”.

2. A song that thematically reflects your kintype in some way.

3. A song that reminds you of a happy or fond memory.

4. A song that brings forth a more negative memory.

5. A song that reflects a significant event in their life, bad or good.

6. A song that tends to put you in a mental or phantom shift.

7. A song that you associate with an important figure in your kintype’s life.

8. A song representing your kintype in an archetypal manner. Down to their base personality.

9. A song that reminds you of your kintype’s past.

10. If there are any, a song canonically related to your kintype, either in the source’s official soundtrack (if there is one) or just a song that the canon source’s creator associates them with.

11. A song that is commonly associated with them that, while not your personal choice, you can still enjoy.

12. A song that reminds you of your current life, is in stark contrast to your kintype, or can easily snap you out of a shift. Perfect end to a kintype playlist.

Was browsing the witchcraft-themed items at my local spirit halloween and they remind me so much of when I used to be an active practitioner when I was younger. While I don't do so now, I do wish I was more in touch with my spirituality and metaphysics that come with it, it all makes me want to light my candles and pull out my tarot deck.

Very much considering writing a larger thinkpiece on my personal interactions with kin identity; I was terrified to feel the shifts and pulls in my concept of my identity, and if I could put some of my story out there to potentially ease someone else's fears, then it will all feel worth it.

I have painted my nails bronze, shiny and subtly sparkly, and it is doing absolute wonders for me right now, as is the long black skirt

I can no longer be silent on the matter

Actual images of me