Oblivated*

Okay, as much as I LOVE the art style in Spectacular Spider-Man, Peter freaking sucks for what he does to Gwen and Liz.

And I am saying this as an honest to god Peter Parker kin.

Lance is the type of guy that knows everyone.

He’s the type of guy to invite you to a restaurant and whisper that he gets a good deal here because he knows the owner’s friend’s cousin.

I feel like he has the same effect in space after a few months of getting to know aliens and stuff. He just randomly gets good deals at the space mall and Corans like 😮 “how?” And Lance is like, “we saved their friend’s relative’s friend on that one planet a while ago.”

Imagine in the solangelo book, Nico and Will in the underworld running into Lee and Michael.

The fact that I thought this was a batfamily comic and I was like “who the fuck is Michael?” And ten I realized it was a fnaf comic and I was like “who the fuck is Jason?” Before I realized it’s an actor Au.

name slip ups happen [fnaf actor au]

You know what’s cringe?

People who don’t know what bilingual people speak like. Cuz like I speak English and Spanish and you know “Spanglish” is super fun. (I mostly see this in fanfics).

But I never go: Yeah and I was at la playa, you know— sorry I speak Spanish and I mix up words! Silly silly me, no se hablar English!

It’s more like: Y estaba en la playa when my mom called me and she was yelling at me and I didn’t even know what I did! I was like ‘Mami, Que hice? Why are you yelling!?’ (More or less something I told my friend a couple of weeks ago)

Then theres the whole “character forgets a word because they’re thinking in Spanish!”

“No, no, the flecha! You know, the thingy that lights up! Like— ugh, what’s it called? Its like— its a flecha! I can’t think of the English word!” (Arrow, its a light up arrow)

Its so awkward to read those.

Idk but being bilingual isn’t just adding a random non-English word into a an English sentence.

Or like having characters just go: “you’re my hermano/hermana, man!”

Or (the very cringe) “come on foo!” // “ese!” // “vato!” // or literally any other word associated with cholos or Chicano gangs.

Like pet names I get. I understand those. I used to call my ex “mi amor” “corazón de melon” “Bebe” “lindó” “guapo” and nothing else in Spanish. Those are understandable cuz those are pet names.

Make Spanglish sound real! (hmu if you want someone to look over your Spanish, specifically)

Dick: You know that there is nothing you could say that we will get mad at.

Tim, panicking: Yeah, yeah. I know that.

Jason: there is very clearly some stuff you can say that we will get mad at. Don’t believe him. He’s a liar.

Damian: I get mad at you for even breathing. I don’t know what you expect.

Tim, inhaling deeply: You know how I broke up with Bernard so I could date Kon again?

Dick: Absoluetly. Yeah.

Jason, nodding: That was very hard for you.

Tim, nodding also: Yeah, that actually never happened.

Dick: What do you mean?

Tim: I’m still dating Bernard.

Dick: What do you mean?

Tim: I’m dating both of them and neither one of them knows it and I feel terrible about it.

Damian, absolutely cracking up.

Jason, staring blankly.

Dick: But Bernard is gone.

Tim, shaking his head.

Dick: What do you mean?

Tim: He’s not gone.

Jason, snickering with Damian. Both of them dying.

Dick: So you broke up with Kon—

Tim: I didn’t break up with either of them.

Dick: What do you mean?

Tim: You process this however you need to process this. If you want to keep talking it out—

Dick, grabbing Tim by the shoulders: Which one are you dating?

Tim: Both.

Jason and Damian rolling on the ground.

Dick, shaking Tim: Are you dating Kon?

Tim: I’m dating Kon.

Dick, still shaking Tim: Are you dating Bernard?

Tim: Yes.

Jason, wheezing: How do you do that?

Tim: They made me choose!

Dick: You have to choose!

Jason and Damian still choking.

Dick: You can’t have both men!

Tim: What was I supposed to do?

Dick: What, you think you can have a bunch of boyfriends?!

Jason and Damian wheezing: …

Tim: …

Dick: You get one boyfriend!

Tim, looking down at his shoes: …

Dick: That’s the way the world works!

Tim: Why!?

Dick, shaking his head: I don’t know.

Tim: I feel terrible about this. I don’t know what to do.

Dick: How could you do this to Kon?

Tim: I don’t know, I feel really badly about it!

Jason, slapping Damian’s back: In your little brain, how do you see this playing out?

Tim: I see it playing out badly.

Damian, wheezing again.

Tim: I see it playing out very, very badly. But you know what, I just… I want to thank you though. Just for being here for me.

Dick: No.

Tim: And for listening to me.

Dick: We’re not listening to you and we’re not here for you.

Tim, ignoring him: Because now we’re in this together.

Dick, pointing: We’re not in this together. And we’re not listening and we’re not being there, so stop telling us things!

Jason and Damian, still cracking up.

Dick, shaking his hands: What do you want me to do with this information!?

Tim: Well, it really helped me to tell you. You should tell somebody,

Dick: I can’t.

Tim: Get it off your chest,

Dick: I can’t.

Tim: You know what I mean?

Dick, crossing his arms: Who? Who would I tell?

Tim: Well, certainly not Bruce. Maybe Wally.

Dick: …

Tim: Don’t ever tell Bruce.

I feel liked Remus had with Fabian and Gideon, the type of relationship that Hermione has with Fred and George. You know, like a little flirty, but also a little teasing. That type of thing.

You know that whole thing about how before James and Lily died Lily had convinced James to make Snape The Godfather of their second kid??

Yeah??

Well, I hate that. Fuck that. Remus was gonna be The Godfather of their second kid. Fuck Snape and his greasy hair.

JAY’S MARAUDERS ERA HEADCANONS PT 1:

James Potter & Remus Lupin

James and Remus = Pan/Bi solidarity

James definitely learned everything he knows about muggles from Remus. (Remus definitely told him some made-up shit to like: “muggles will always tip their hats, even if they aren’t wearing any, but only if they like you” and James gets sad the first few times he meets muggles because they never tip their hats at him.)

While James and Sirius are like brothers, James and Remus aren’t— they’re those type of best friends that flirt with each other constantly and they’re like: “By the time we’re thirty, if we haven’t gotten with Lily/Sirius, let’s get married.”

They make the dirtiest jokes.

Remus says he doesn’t like quidditch, but he just says it because then James gets really excited for the next game so he can prove to Remus that quidditch is an amazing sport.

They never fight. Like ever. Like they argue about stuff— “Trolls are cooler!” “No, Goblins are way cooler!”— but they never have real fights in which they’re both upset.

When Jily and Wolfstar both start dating James and Remus still flirt and hold hands and stuff and Lily and Sirius are like: “Our boyfriend are boyfriends.”

The only real fight they ever had was Remus calling himself a monster and other bad things after ‘The Prank’ and James was pissed at him for thinking of himself in that way.

James and Remus were each other’s first kiss.

When ever James practices asking Lily out, it’s always on Remus and he’ll grab something red, like a sweater or a pillowcase and put it on his hair to look like Lily. It’s a whole show with voices and everything.

On one hand, the idea of Alfred Pennyworth being the blandest of white people when it comes to food is funny as heck.

On the other, the idea of Alfred Pennyworth being the grandfather that like tries really hard to learn what his grandkids like and cook them their favorite meal to perfection, makes my dead little heart flutter.