Latest Posts by marauderposts - Page 4
*Sirius Black voice*: Do you think horses get songs stuck in their heads?
*Remus Lupin voice*: GO TO SLEEP SIRIUS
Sorting Hat: SLYTHERIN
Sirius: *Walks over to Gryffindor*
Sorting Hat: I said Slytherin!
Sirius: *Spanish accent* Oh I no speak English I stay here at lion table
looks like they could kill you, could actually kill you: lily evans
looks like they could kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll: sirius black
looks like a cinnamon roll, could actually kill you: remus lupin
looks like a cinnamon roll, is actually a cinnamon roll: peter pettigrew
will kill you with their cinnamon rolls: james potter
- Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs -
me talking about my grades and future ▶ 🔘──────── 00:00:01 me talking about Regulus and Sirius black and how they deserved better ▶ 🔘──────── 104:37:12
Because This Probably Happened
Sirius: *holding up a lion cub*
Lily: What are you doing?
James: Teaching Harry about the circle of life.
Lily: Please tell me you did not Transfigure our son into a lion.
Sirius & James: ...
Okay tommorow is officially Jily death day so instead of going trick-or-treating imma just be sobbing in the corner like i do every halloween
Don’t worry, Nearly-Headless Nick is not forgotten I will incorporate his headlessness sometime into my sobfest
Wanna Join?
Before the Marauders got to Hogwarts, it was called the Highly Discouraged Forest. It was changed to the Forbidden Forest after an incident involving a werewolf, three Animagi, roughly two hundred spiders, and an attempted tea party.
Remus: Look, Severus, I wanted to apologize for everything we said when we were younger. I really like having you around.
Snape: No, you don't.
Remus: I know. I have dreams where I staple your fingers to your face.
Sirius: Couldn't help but notice you've spent a staggering amount of time with Evans lately.
James: *rolls eyes*
Sirius: No need to look like a deer in headlights. I'm just stating a fact
James: *rolls eyes again*
James: THE DEER PUNS STOP NOW
Sirius: You're positively fawning over her
Sirius: *grins*
James: If you'll excuse me, I'm off to find a new best friend
Sirius: Oi! Where are you going? You've got man's best friend right here!
James: *makes a rude hand gesture at Sirius*
Remus: You're really in the doghouse, Padfoot
Peter: Yeah. You better watch out, or Prongs'll replace your shampoo with flea dip again
Sirius: Okay, oka — wait, what do you mean AGAIN?
You pay this woman to sit on babies? That's disgusting. I'd sit on a baby for nothing.
Sirius Black, to Lily Potter about the babysitter that she hired
Ok I know that James ordinarily has glasses, but this is stilll a really cute picture. :)
The Mirror of Erised
One night under his invisibility cloak James Potter wandered, it was quite abnormal to find him alone like this. He had been feeling pretty down lately for one reason or another and decided once everyone was quiet in their beds to take a walk. He came across a room with a very large mirror and decided to play the game of having no reflection under the cloak. This always gave him a chuckle for whatever reason.
However when he stepped in front of the mirror he nearly jumped, for in the mirror was a picture of himself, a little older, and Lily Evans, also older, holding something wrapped in a blanket. Then a little hand reached out and James, in the mirror played with it, and he realized it was him and Lily, together, with a baby. He must have been watching the mirror for at least an hour when something dropped down beside him making him jump. Then worrying him even more he realized it was Lily and with huge eyes asked what she saw.
“A mirror silly, what are you doing up anyways?”
“oh, couldn’t sleep, but look if I move away…”
as he did Lily whispered oh so soft he couldn’t be sure that he actually heard it. After a few moments he asked her what she saw, she responded quickly, her cheeks flaming.
“Well I believe from reading it somewhere that its the mirror of Erised, which shows your deepest wants and desires, I see myself working as an auror for the ministry of course…”
James spun a story about the house cup.
They sat for quiet awhile staring, just far enough away that they could both see their images. However, what neither told the other was that their pictures were the same..
Ok, this is literally one of the cutest pictures that I have ever seen in my entire life.
"What's this?" Lily asked aloud, picking up the folded piece of parchment from the floor. It was blank on both sides. She tried prodding it with her wand, but nothing happened.
"Specialis Revelio!" she whipered.
Again, nothing happened.
Frustrated, Lily tried speaking to it instead. "My name is Lily Evans."
At once, jet black writing began spreading across the map. Lily squinted to try and make out the words.
Mr. Moony would like to ask Lily if she could put the map down now before things get crazy.
Mr. Padfoot would like to tell Lily not to put the map down because he's quite looking forward to Mr. Prongs pooping his pants.
Mr. Moony would like to tell Mr. Padfoot to be quiet.
Mr. Wormtail would like to tell Lily that her hair looks nice today and would also like to ask if Mr. Prongs is doing okay.
Mr. Prongs is not doing okay.
Mr. Padfoot would like to ask Lily if she could find this piece of parchment more often.
Mr. Prongs would like to say that Mr. Padfoot is an arse and would also like to ask Lily if she has ever had feelings for a lad named James Potter.
Mr. Mooony would like to slam his head against the wall.
What is going on? Lily wondered as more writing appeared on the surface of the map.
Mr. Wormtail still thinks that Lily should put this parchment down and walk away.
Mr. Prongs does not want Lily to put this down as he's still waiting for an answer about that whole James Potter thing.
Mr. Padfoot is having the time of his life.
Mr. Padfoot would also like to add that this James fellow seems like an awful human being that smells like dung. Or, at least, that's Mr. Padfoot's impression.
Mr. Prongs would like to tell Mr. Padfoot to SHUT UP.
Mr. Moony apologizes to Lily.
Mr. Prongs would like to say that James Potter is in fact a wonderful bloke and Mr. Prongs has heard that James would make a wonderful boyfriend.
Mr. Padfoot thinks Mr. Prongs is good at being subtle.
Mr. Prongs thinks Mr. Padfoot should go shove his head up his abnormally large arse.
Ok so I found this really cute picture on Pintrest.... I’ll paste the link here.
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/336362665904795359/
OK BUT THIS IS SO ACCURATE THO
And Remus is Pascal
Remus helping the rest of the Marauders study for the O.W.L.s
"Okay," Remus said slowly, making sure his friends were following along. "Let's go over this one more time. If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venemous. Got it?"
"I think so. . ." James said, trailing off uncertainly.
"Wait! I have a few questions!" Sirius yelped. "What if I bite it and it dies?"
"That means you're poisonous," Remus responded dryly.
"What if it bites itself and I die?" Sirius asked.
"That's voodoo."
"Okay, but what if it bites me and someone else dies?"
Remus was starting to get annoyed. "That's correlation, not causation."
"All right, but what if I bite it, and neither one of us die?"
"That's. . . kinky?" Remus said uncertainly. Peter laughed.
Sirius’s ‘Magic Touch’
James laughed. "I don't know if she's interested, mate."
Sirius scoffed. "Of course she's interested, Prongs. You see, I happen to have something called the magic touch."
"You have the what?" James asked, unable to control his laughter.
"The magic touch," Sirius repeated, a touch of defiance in his voice.
"So you have 'the touch?'" Remus asked with a grin. "That sounds like something you should get looked at."
"What? No, you idiots, the magic touch -- how do you not know what I'm talking about?" Sirius protested.
"We're all magic," James stated, with a grin identical to Remus's.
"So we literally all have the 'magic touch,' Sirius," Remus added.
"So really, you're just saying you have 'the touch,'" James said.
"Sounds terribly dirty," Remus said, unable to keep a straight face any longer.
"Sounds diseased, really," Peter chimed in.
"You know what," Sirius said loudly, "You're all terrible friends."
James gaped indignantly. "Sirius!"
"Don't listen to him, James. It's 'the touch' talking," Remus said, smirking.
Sirius Black the Drama Queen
"Professor McGonagall!" Sirius yelled.
The whole class turned around in their seats to stare at him.
"What is it, Mr. Black?" Professor McGonagall asked, sounding weary.
"I have to be taken to the hospital wing immediately!" Sirius cried dramatically.
"May I ask why?" Professor McGonagall asked in the same tone as before.
"I have a paper cut!" Sirius whimpered. The class broke out in laughter.
"Mr. Black, I really don't think a paper cut requires you to go to the hospital wing."
"GOODBYE, CRUEL WORLD," Sirius said even more dramatically, kneeling on the floor.
Professor McGonagall had to try hard to hide her laughter. What a drama queen Sirius was. She tried to subdue him. "Mr. Black--"
"TELL JAMES'S PARENTS I LOVE THEM."
