Gender Dysphoria - Blog Posts

oh, if it isn't good ol gender dysphoria? At least became drawing material

Based on me trying to use the bathroom in college (answer: I don't! Wish my bladder luck)

TW Vent, swearing, species and gender dysphoria talk

I just fucking hate having a female, human body. When going out I have to choose to look boring and pass or be myself and risk getting misgendered. Another greaattt ( /sarc) thing is having weird teeth which inhibits be from wearing fang extenders. The one tiny little thing that could make me feel all the less human whilst still seeming "normal" I can't use.

Not a Pokémon person but omg 🥺 this is sooo real guh

evolution dysphoria

stupid stinky stitnky sutpoid NGJAHFSIOG IF I DONT GET TO BE BORN A MAN NEITHER DO YOU

I bid my greetings to everyone reading this journal entry. I have not done one of these in a while. I feel hopeful because the day that I will take hormones is coming closer and closer. Soon I will alleviate my dysphoria and live as who I truly am. I am on sick leave now due to all the issues I mentioned. I do not know what to say - I just need to alleviate the dysphoria sooner.  I know that it will not solve everything. I feel lonely because I am not able to connect with people on a deep level and I have terrible social skills. Heck, my social skills are so terrible that writing these journals and sharing them with people from my school does not feel embarrassing in the slightest. The only things I cannot say are illegal stuff. An example of something that is illegal is murder. Obviously I am not gonna write in the journal that I murdered someone if I really did do it. No, but I have not done it. Anyways, I still cannot get my mind off of something which I mentioned earlier. That mysterious thing which drives me forward. The mysterious thing is further away than ever before, but oh so close. I think that it is best to leave everything behind and return into my shell where no one can see, hear, or hurt me. I am safe in my house, right? Ofc I am, why would I not be? It is only when I step outside that those sc(k)ary people look at me and laugh, then they say something to their friends and both of them look behind themselves and laugh. They all laugh at me, I am just a joke to them. The only thing left to do is to run away forever and never return. I know, maybe in the future I can upload my mind into a computer and play Minecraft all day. Minecraft is a game where no one bothers you and if they bother you, THEN YOU FUCKING KILL THEM. Minecraft is a game where I am safe and where there are no rules to put me in danger. Minecraft is a place where nostalgia rules. No, no no no! The milk is not in the bag, IT IS NOT IN THE BAG, SHUT UP! The milk is my soul and the bag is my computer - a world waiting to be explored and a world where no one judges you. I am addicted to gaming, I am addicted to the internet, I am nihilistic, I am depressed, blah blah blah; you get it. I WANT MY ESTROGEN, GIVE ME HORMONES! Anyways, I am getting off-topic. I am basically screwed, the end.

Tw: vent, a bit of violence, gender dysphoria, and depression.

I am starting to lose hope. I do not think that anyone will ever love me as much as I love them. Depression makes it really hard to express my feelings. Everyone I care for will eventually find someone else they love more. I know that it will always happen. It is always gonna go wrong. I fear nothing more than failure and my life is just a big compilation of me failing everything. I cannot let go though, which is the scary part. It is almost as if you chop your legs off because they were walking into the school cafeteria on their own. The cafeteria full of eyes that see you (I must never go there). Then your body starts rolling on its own into the place, which sets you up for your ultimate demise. It is moments like this that I crave the nothingness, I crave to no longer exist, and I crave a release from my pain. I hate myself and I hate that I was born to look like a freak. I want to die, but I can't...The only thing left to do is to continue my obsession, it is too late to abandon it now, because she has overtaken my mind. The worst part of all this is that I am never gonna pass as a female because of my stupid body that I want to rip into pieces with surgeries. I am gonna change everything about myself until there is nothing left of me. I am just a big pile of waste, which is infested with trauma, ugliness, gender dysphoria, depression, anxiety, failure, the inability to do anything right, and a universe full of pain to show for everything I have gone through. Idk whether to give up or not...

i live in active warzone, i'm trans, i have a mental disorder, my family disowned me, i'm homeless and don't have any friends. honestly this has to be some kind of prank, the gods who made me can't be serious about this shit. I just wish my life was normal and not whatever this is, is that so much to ask

the light of day curses me with the ability to view my own appearance

why must it do so

Being trans nonbinary is so annoying because my brain is like "We have dysphoria, let's transition so we can pass!"

Pass as what?

It's so stupid hard to "pass" as androgynous to the general public. It's this obnoxiously thin line that feels completely out of reach to get to, at least not without giving up other forms of gender expression that feel euphoric to me. I wouldn't even mind not being fully androgynous, if nothing else I just want to make people stop and think for a second before they inevitably go ahead and misgender me anyways.

It sucks that the best I can hope for in terms of transition is confusion. I see trans binary folks talking about the euphoria they get from passing and being accepted in society as their true gender, having the ability to go stealth. And I desperately want that too. I wish people weren't so hellbent on sorting others into binaries at all costs, and I wish there was hrt that could make me androgynous without giving me other traits that I dont want (ex. facial hair, bottom growth, heavily masculine voice). I literally just want to be seen as who I actually am and it's crushing knowing Im probably never going to get to have that.

i love being genderfluid until nothing i wear feels like it matches the way i feel. like if i see a man wear a skirt i dont bat an eye but when i do it its bad. idk if its a self hatred thing or something else internalized but it fucking sucks. on days i feel like she/her i feel great but days i feel like he/him its awful. and i always end up pissed at myself for thinking i cant look the way i do and use he/him. because in my mind everyone else can but i cant. idk

I'm not Trans but GODDANMIT!! Feels like i'm being thrown out the window...

Like and reblog if you can relate to this:

alot of my friends r trans guys, this stuff is important!

If you are a British/UK citizen, there is currently a petition running (with only 125 signatures) that ends in June 2025. The petition calls for the government to make it so that you do not need a diagnosis of gender dysphoria to change your gender.

If you are a British/UK citizen, and would like to sign:

https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/701159

If you're not a British/ UK citizen it'd be much appreciated if you could share this post !! :)

Anyone else ever felt the kind of gender dysphoria that feels like something impossibly wrong with your chest?

I Am Not Her

I am not Her. Her with Her hips and Her chest and Her hair, with Her voice and Her face and all that's "down there". Comfortable, happy, with all who She is, who is proud to buy bras, with pads as She grows, Not checking Her calendar like She's on death row, Not watching the waiter, will they call Her "Sir"? Will Her friends use His name or insist He is Her? No, I am not Her, happy and free, I am trapped, I am scared, why can't I break free? Peel off my skin and expose what's inside, the flatness, the chest hair, a bulge in my jeans. But I CAN'T, so I hide in this ill fitting suit, that tightens and squeezes as the waiter says "Miss". I am Him with His shoulders, His chest and His hair, with His voice and His face and all that's "down there". So I hope and I hide in this ill fitting suit, Him who is trapped, pulled down by twin weights, Him with His boxers and a shaver with time, Counting the minutes 'till I can say He, I am Him, I am Them, happy and free. But still my suit blocks the light to my skin underneath, hiding from sight the Boy who is me. I am Him, I am Them.

And I.

Am.

Not.

Her.

Just a small poem about my experience with gender dysphoria I wrote in like 20 mins. I am boyfluidflux, and use he/they/it and most other neopronouns. Feel free to leave constructive criticism, and to those who feel this, I'm sorry society has trapped you like it traps me. Have a good day, peeps, take care!!! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

Sometimes I wanna be a fem guy in the way that a cis man can be a fem guy instead of being trans and just being seen as a girl. Is that too much to ask?

im not quite sure what i am any more.

Any tips on preventing dysphoria?

Me: *throws rocks at gods window*

God: *opens window* "what do you want?"

Me: "my gender is broken I don't want it anymore"

God: "what's wrong with your gender?"

Me: "it has dysphoria"

God: "what the f**k is wrong with you?" *closes window*

100% feel you friend. I’ve had days where I need to shower in the dark and listen to music all day, and I’ve had days which are better. I’ve been on HRT for 3 months now and it’s def getting better, but I’m sure both of us will get where we want to be in our life before it’s over ❤️ 🫂

Ugh, dysphoria. Sometimes it’s better to just not look.

I've concluded nobody gives a shit about trans rights. Not even other trans people. And especially American trans people. Atp I hope the election takes away your hrt, shouldn't have been a selfish and inconsiderate prick to trans people outside of the US. Maybe this is karma. Good luck out there, but I won't care if you loose access to your tiddy skittles.

Not to be a hater but I genuinely hate the fact that people get disability checks for stuff like autism when I'm here, suffering crippling depression and dysphoria, as well as a health condition that makes endurance and stamina incredibly hard, juggling college classes, a job, and general life maintenance because I live alone, relying on financial aid for college students that disappears the moment I graduate(or get kicked out), and then my minimum wage job.

Idk, it just almost feels offensive to be juggling all that, when there's people who claim disability checks because they just find it so hard to talk to people, or because they're unable to focus on anything, and then they just sit on their ass and play videogames in their childhood bedroom all day, or in the free housing apartment they got.

People will call me jealous, and, well, yeah? Of course? Like wym somebody is getting free housing, free insurance, and free income while just sitting at home all day, when I'm constantly managing all the aforementioned and I get told to "just man up"

Fuck all the way off. I'll never support neets no matter how much they claim they're "fighting the system". You're an adult baby, and it's time to grow the fuck up.

quick rant, cw for slight nsfw but nothing graphic or overly explicit, just mentions of nsfw stuff. but WHY THE FUCK do I keep getting people saying that they have "species dysphoria" over not getting to be a dragon or some other animal or creature, and not only that, but then EQUATE IT TO ME FEELING GENDER DYSPHORIA??? AND SOMEHOW IMPLYING WE'RE EQUALS???

Hell naw. Your ass did not cry yourself to sleep every night at 13 because you didn't have a tail, or because you had skin instead of scales. You didn't spend your entire adolescence suicidal because you have human genitals that match your agab instead of whatever fantasy cock you want to have.

I know this will come across as incredible rude, and people will feel invalidated. I'm not saying you're a bad person for wanting to be another species, or being a furry, or anything of the sorts... but don't equate it to gender dysphoria, and don't try to imply that we're equal in terms of dysphoria or feeling that your body doesn't match.

also on an ending note: why is wanting to be a dragon or a wolf or whatever with a cock the length of your torso considered "dysphoria" or something that actually causes you to suffer, but I get reprimanded for wishing I was just a cis straight dude and could fuck a girl every now and then. Like somehow I'm the bad guy for wanting that but people can say they wish they were a werewolf with a 20" inch and claim they feel the same dysphoria as I do over that.

is there a gender for "I don't give a fuck anymore so long as I get to have a cock instead of the fuckery I have now"? Asking very explicitly for myself

"it will get better"

"it will get better" they told me, aged 11, when puberty really kicked in and felt extremely dysphoric about my body, but didn't know what it was yet, and also got bullied for not being truly either gender.

"it will get better" they told 13 year old me, now aware of what dysphoria was, but still suicidal because of it, and felt terrible for not being accepted as a real boy.

"it will get better" they told 15 year me, who just got sexually assaulted for being trans, as well as missing lots of school(and social development) for being constantly in the hospital to navigate the medical gatekeeping for being trans.

"it will get better" they told 16 year me, still freshly traumatized from being sexually assaulted, and now disabled due to medical abuse and neglect from doctors, as well as failing school due to said disability.

"it will get better" they told 17 year old me, who was getting abused at home, while going to school and working my ass off at a minimum wage job, trying to save whatever I could while also trying to sustain myself.

"it will get better" they told 18 year me, still being abused and barely graduating high school, while fighting with my mom to let me attend the college I want, while still not having fully recovered from being temporarily disabled.

"it will get better" they told 19 year old me, now living on college campus, stuck doing a degree I don't truly want, but my parents won't let me chance. I'm succumbing to depression, adhd, and anxiety, but who cares. My body has most of its functions back but will never be the same. Still dysphoric and suicidal every day despite transitioning.

It will get better. When, my love, when? It's almost been a decade of being suicidal every single day, as well as being abused and to a degree, disabled. Some people's foundation for life crumbles, I didn't have one to begin with.

on top of that, a decade is a pretty long time. Would you expect a person to undergo cancer treatment for 10 years, only for it to not be solved? You'd feel sympathetic, right? Maybe even feel bad for them? You wish their suffering would just be over.. Why is this any different? Why am I suddenly "just not strong enough" or "just try harder"?

I'm genuinely convinced it'll never get better. I don't really have any (easy) method of... you know what, but I still want to "commit" every single day. I genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, believe it will never get better.

It hurts knowing you're more privileged and have more opportunities than like 80% of the world with a lot better quality of life and still have life suck so much. Like I'm well aware that just by being born in a western country, that's already better off than like 80-90% of the world. And yet everything hurts physically and mentally and I just want to die every day.

In a few months I'll officially not only have lost my childhood to dysphoria and knowing it'll never be quite right, but also the exact same thing will happen with the entirety of my teenage years! Two fucking decades gone nowhere, epitome of a waste of time.

Like fuck dude I know that cis men can get depressed as well, but at least you got the comfort of not having your own body and soul tormenting you. And at least you can peacefully rub one out and have a few moments of bliss. Idk. Wish I could do that.

And the fact this is exactly what my 20s will look like.. and my 30s... And basically all the time until I can finally call it quits.... I dont even know what to say, I cant put it into words.

If there any demons in my area, take this chance, take my chesticles.

A digital drawing I made