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you are sam winchester and everyone you love ends up dead because of you. your mother burns on the ceiling. your girlfriend burns on the ceiling. your college friends were puppets planted there for you. the people underneath the demons are long gone. your brother stabs your childhood friend. you get reunited with an old flame. she chokes in front of you. a gift to you. a message to you. you are responsible for your loved ones dying. you meet a hunter and she gives you hope that you could build something real and lasting, but she is killed and you know it was your fault. she would have been fine if she hadn't met you. she comes back and gets taken away again. you're destined to kill the one person who's ever understood you in your entirety with no judgment. you still think about jessica. your hell is right here you are cursed to kill and kill and kill.
you are dean winchester and your loved ones keep killing themselves for you. they die and they die and they die and it's all for you. not just because of but for you. offerings of devotion that make you want to repay the favor but you keep springing back up like a grotesque clown in a box. your curse is to keep on living and living, carrying them within you. an altar stained with their sacrifice. an obscene fire sustained against your will by the corpses of your loved ones.