Mdzs Fanfic - Blog Posts

when stuck in writing block, killing off a characters works like a charm

Innocent love -- WIP

Pairing: Wen Ning x f!reader

Tags/Warnings: pure fluff, Wei Wuxian and Jiang Yanli playing matchmakers, some trauma description, mature content in later chapters, everybody deserves a happy ending

A/N: So the time has finally come for me to post my first fan fiction on tumblr. This will be a canon divergence au. Characters are based on the live series (Chen Qing Ling/The Untamed) both in appearance and back story. I will pick up the story during ep.26 after Wei Wuxian finds Wen Ning. Alive! The pursuit of the Wen Clan's remaining members is cancelled and Wei Wuxian won't become the Yiling Patriarch. Also him and Lan Wangji are together in this because I make the rules.

I'm not promising a quick update as I am busy with my intern year BUT I will be free in two weeks time. I will happily tag anyone who would like to get a reminder when this gets posted!

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Summary: You are the distant cousin of the Lan brothers. Even though you didn't grow up with them, you spent a lot of time in Cloud Recesses. After your parents died, you moved in to Cloud Recesses. Your best friends are Wei Wuxian and Jiang Yanli.

After the Sunshot Campaign, the members of the Wen Clan are pursued and killed. Wei Wuxian, with the help of his family and the Lan Clan, manages to stop the massacre and save the remaining innocent members of the Wen Clan. Wen Qing and Wen Ning are temporarily moved in to Cloud Recesses to recover. This is when you finally meet the saviors of Wei Wuxian and his siblings. You are indescribably grateful to the Wen siblings, and do everything in your power to help them. However, one unexpected thing happens: you fall in love with the kind and soft-spoken Wen Ning.

Something that keeps spinning in my head is the idea of Jiang Cheng joining a nighthunt with Jin Ling, the other juniors as well as Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji (maybe even Wen Ning). What happens is that Jiang Cheng gets hurt, not fatally but enough that having a healer look at it would be the smart move. But Jiang Cheng hides the injury. No one but Jin Ling clocks that there's something wrong with him. He got hit and fought through the pain, so nobody realized that he was injured. After the hunt, the group stays at the same inn. The juniors want to celebrate and Wei Wuxian isn't going to miss on an opportunity to drink and have fun. Jin Ling comes down to dinner and says that Jiang Cheng won't join. He makes a sort of downtrodden face which everyone interprets as him getting a scolding or something from Jiang Cheng. In truth, Jin Ling is worried about his uncle. Wei Wuxian who was and wasn't looking forward to having dinner with Jiang Cheng attempts to cheer Jin Ling up. Saying things like 'Jiang Cheng probably just wants attention, he's always withdrawn to sulk'. When Jin Ling goes to check on Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian tells him that he should be enjoying himself instead of indulging the childishness of a grown man.(Is that too harsh?) Jin Ling laughs and says he'll be back soon.

The next day, some Jiang disciples arrive among them someone who Wei Wuxian can identify as a healer, the others can't. Before Wei Wuxian can announce this to the group who is speculating about the Jiang group's arrival, Jin Ling asks him for a word. Which is good because Wei Wuxian also wants words.

Scene: "How could you not tell me that Jiang Cheng's been injured?" Wei Wuxian asks loudly. Jin Ling grimaes and slaps a silencing talisman on the door. What the hell?

Jin Ling glares at him. "Shout more loudly, I'm sure Nie Huaisang in Qinghe didn't hear."

"Jin Ling, you act like ...don't you trust your friends?" Wei Wuxian's chest region stings, he thought, well, it doesn't matter what presumptuous thoughts he had. His crimes cannot be recompensated.

Jin Ling rolls his eyes, "Don't be stupid. Of course, I trust you guys...," he pauses, "...but not with jiujiu."

"That makes no sense." Wei Wuxian says.

Jin Ling snorts as if Wei Wuxian is playing dumb. "Come on, none of you like jiujiu. Ouyang Zhizhen is more neutral but Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui, they believe every bad thing, they've ever heard of him. And half the time, you can't shut up about how he's the worst, not to speak of the hiding behind Hangguang-jun whenever you meet, as if you still believe he wants to hurt you." Jin Ling looks quizzically at Wei Wuxian. "I hope, I don't have to point out Hangguang-jun's or the Ghost General's regard for my jiujiu." Wei Wuxian takes a moment to gather his wits. "Hangguang-jun is honorable, he wouldn't let an ally bleed to death." "Jiujiu wasn't in any danger of bleeding to death, don't be dramatic. If it was that serious, I would speak up." Jin Ling says with some exasperation. "It wasn't anything worth owing a favor to another sect." Wei Wuxian sighs. "That's what Jiang Cheng's teaching you? That everything comes down to debts and repayment? No wonder you struggled to make friends as a child." "You're not his friends, though." Jin Ling replies.

hiii! for the ask game, an au where jc gets de-aged post-canon to his freshly traumatized 17 year old self? playing happy family in cloud recesses, wwx is brutally pulled out of his ‘the past is in the past’ bubble when he finds out. for extra knives, maybe wn tells him

1. I think it should be JL, and not WN, who tells WWX. JL is invested in JC (and in JC and WWX’s relationship)! WN is mostly invested in #getwreckedSLJ.

WWX doesn't really understand what JL expects of him - WWX’s heart leaped when he understood the content of JL’s letter, and his belly twisted as though he was going to be sick, but he managed to calm down enough to write a reassuring letter back to JL. (Surely that was what JL expected, right?) WWX had to sit on his own hands to keep from doing something stupid like grabbing a sword and flying off, and then he had to ask to LWJ to distract him, because it keeps buzzing, buzzing under his skin.

There's no new letter from JL. WWX forces himself to think it means everything went back to normal. And makes himself distracted (he loves his husband!) before his mind trips down the path of what if not. (JL wouldn't write then. He'd show up.)

2. There’s no second letter but JL shows up. WWX, who's been thinking that there was no reason for JL to come but if things had gone worst with JC, doesn't know what he looks like when he sees JL and doesn't really register the sound of people sliding their swords out.

“You have to come, why didn't you come! I had to leave jiujiu because you weren't coming, and I'm going to have to return to Jinlintai once I’ve brought you back, so grab your things, shibo. Oh, you don't need to take much, LP will put you up with what you need. What matters is going back so jiujiu can see you.”

JC is alive. JC is alive. Once the news break through the dull rushing sound in WWX’s ears, tension he didn't know had frozen his body seeps away.

The Jin disciple accompanying JL puts his sword away, under the misapprehension that WWX isn't ready to leave right away. LWJ says WWX’s name and presses his arm, and WWX nods fiercely. No time to waste, is there? Now JC wants him there.

3. There’s a disciple of YMJ as a welcoming committee when they fly down, or maybe two; WWX doesn't pay attention, he leaves JL and LWJ to deal with them - “hey, wait!” JL yelps, “do you even know where you’re going?”

WWX’s feet slow, stop. LP is changed. WWX isn't even sure JC left the infirmary where it once was.

JL catches up with an annoyed, worried huff. He sounds just like JC. “Here, this way.”

4. JC looks– JC looks.

WWX’s legs give up from under him.

JC looks at him with an intense frown, features almost twisted in desperation - WWX’s name on his lips. WWX scrambles on the ground, knees banging on the polished wood, fingers feverishly untangled as he reaches for the long-lost shape of WWX’s shidi, crumpled as discarded hopes, slight as a memory.

“You– why are you here?” JC's words fall like stones on WWX’s bones before WWX can reassure himself JC’s real. “They told me you live in Gusu. You don't even look like yourself, why did you come back?”

How like JC! One thousand words to cut through WWX like one thousand blades. WWX ignores him, fists his hands in JC's robes, presses his face against JC’s thighs. He needs to feel the warmth of JC’s body, make sure he’s not a ghost, not a dream.

JC's hand on his shoulder, shaking. WWX is suddenly reminded of JC’s hands pushing him down, this same JC throttling him. It feels like the last time they touched, did JC ever touch him after that, did WWX let him?

5. “I’ll fix it – I promise, JC, I’ll make it right,” WWX breathes, recklessly, helplessly. How easy it is to fall back into these old, dizzying habits!

JC’s eyes are full of shattered distrust and cloudy hopes, like he’s been told WWX lies, like he still believes WWX first.

Late night brain blast but JC gets transported back in time to when his parent’s generation was studying at Cloud Recesses and manages to blow everyone away. JC being the strong confident self he becomes during crisis because come hell or high water he’s getting back to his nephew, thus attracting everyone’s attention and awakening some crushes. Everyone initially assumes he’s from the past and that he’s JFM’s ancestor, which makes JFM feel inadequate as he should, especially with how starstruck his SIC is by him. LQR being the youngest and having the biggest crush on JC because he talks to him like his opinion really matters and doesn’t focus on whatever heroics his elder brother has done this week. I just think it could be fun and full of shenanigans.

Anon, this is absolutely incredible, and I feel like @not-rude-ginger needs to see this ASAP. More to add later when I'm done being raked over the coals by this zcx fic.

'replacing jc in someone's affection' I am crying! wwx doesn't do it once but twice! It's fascinating! Also, this makes me understand why some people, reading the novel, come to the conclusion that wwx doesn't care anymore about jc. Yeah, it's a valid interpretation!

Listen, I just rotated, and rotated, and rotated this scenario (—because, like, both child and adult Wei Wuxian are sincerely in need of support and affection, but I think receiving it as a child while it was withheld from someone he loved, what might have seemed like taking it away from someone who also needed it, also contributed to his boundary problems and self-sacrificial tendencies and eventual resentment—like he needs it but it hurts someone he loves deeply when he gets it but he still needs it, how can he reconcile these conflicting truths?? OK I will stop now—) and, uh, have a tiny little sketch of that zhanchengxian fic concept below, with which I will exorcise my sad past chengxian/past zhancheng/current wangxian thoughts.

It was going to be a perfect triple triple drabble but I needed 80 more words in the centre section to describe Jiang Cheng's tears. You know how it is.

Pursued by Lesser Ghosts

At first he was busy and grateful for it.

Then, Jin Ling settled, elders cowed, sect in order, Jiang Cheng was forced to returned to Lotus Pier. Empty, now.

His sect ran as it always did. He slept poorly. He dreamed often. He walked up and down the pier at night, pursued by lesser ghosts, echoes of people who were alive, just gone. His own life closed around him as tight as any noose, one long merciless sequence of work, sleep, work.

He had a minor qi deviation.

“Go back to dual cultivation,” said the doctor.

“That’s no longer possible,” he said.

The doctor looked up. When Jiang Cheng didn’t say anything else, she said, “Well. Come here for acupuncture once a week. Consider visiting Jin Ling.”

Relax, she didn’t bother to say.

Jiang Ping, his one surviving cousin, took tea with him, and said: “I know things have been stressful. Perhaps you would consider marriage now?”

“I didn’t think marriage was relaxing,” said Jiang Cheng, drily.

“It can be. After everything, well… it’s nice to have someone there.” Jiang Ping looked up, thinking. “Having someone there and working a lot. I don’t think it’s possible for Sect Leader to work harder, so you’ll have to try the other thing.”

Jiang Cheng let out a snort despite himself. Jiang Ping grinned at him.

He could get married, he supposed. What was there to prevent him?

He didn’t call for a matchmaker. He worked harder, kept himself so busy he could hardly think, but at night, laying in his bed, he ached with loneliness before sleep. And in sleep, he saw them, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian both, invariably walking away from him, hand in hand.

Sometimes he was silent; sometimes he called to them. It didn’t matter. They never turned around.

-

In Wei Wuxian’s dream, it was high summer, air as thick as syrup, and he was lying under the trees along the riverbank with his head in Jiang Cheng’s lap.

Above him, Jiang Cheng was eating tanghulu. Playfully, Wei Wuxian opened his mouth like a baby bird, and Jiang Cheng, rolling his eyes, took a piece of fruit and fed it to him, red and almost glowing. His index finger brushed against Wei Wuxian’s mouth.

Sometimes, he dreamed and he didn’t know whether it was just a dream or a fragment of a memory. He thought this might have happened—he faintly remembered begging Jiang Cheng to let him rest his head in his lap, across his narrow, muscled thighs.

Suddenly it was night, and Jiang Cheng was gone.

“Jiang Cheng?” called Wei Wuxian, and found his voice was a child’s voice, high-pitched and nervous. “Jiang Cheng?”

He rushed through Lotus Pier, now dark and empty, towards Jiang Cheng’s room. Then, in the way of dreams, Jiang Cheng was in front of him, a child again, too, face swollen with tears as he wept alone on the pier.

Wei Wuxian froze, panicked.

Someone picked him up; Uncle Jiang had appeared. But instead of saying anything, he turned and walked away. “Uncle Jiang,” Wei Wuxian whispered, but Jiang Fengmian didn’t respond.

All Wei Wuxian could do was look over Uncle Jiang’s shoulder at Jiang Cheng, at his crumpled, sobbing face. You don’t understand, he thought, suddenly, I love you but I need this, I need it, I need it.

That face changed again, blurred into Jiang Cheng's adult face, still weeping as he knelt on the pier. And then the strong arms around him weren’t Uncle Jiang’s but Lan Zhan’s, holding him tight in a bridal carry, taking him away as he squirmed to look back, to not look away from Jiang Cheng’s face, they had been so happy only a moment ago—

Wei Wuxian woke late, his face wet. Went to look for a handkerchief. Opened a drawer he hadn’t looked in before to find: two purple hair ribbons. An open jar of salve, carved with the insignia of a well-known Yunmeng herbalist. And a lavender handkerchief, embroidered with a little frog. Wei Wuxian traced it gently with his thumb.

-

The day was a little crisp, but bright and beautiful. Lan Wangji had risen at the appointed time, eaten breakfast serenely with the sect, and taught some advanced guqin lessons. Lan Sizhui was coming along beautifully, playing more delicate and precise every day, a delight to teach.

Everything was just as it should be in the Cloud Recesses, but Lan Wangji was still somehow uneasy.

He had gained everything he had dreamed of as a teenager, in one bewildering fell swoop. His life had been overturned, but for the better, the man he had wanted for so long delivered to him on a silver platter. He was unbelievably lucky.

Of course, he grieved what had happened to his brother. Lan Xichen deserved only good things. It was bitter to find out someone you had loved so deeply had deceived you—had failed you—had abandoned you.

But with the exception of that dark spot, the suffering and absence of his brother, his life was everything he had ever asked for, wasn’t it? A pristine life, on the surface.

If there was a dark shadow underneath, the ripple of something passing through a lake on a sunny day—something slipping out of an incautious hand, lost to the water—that too was life, wasn’t it?

He had never been so happy in his life. He had never before been so happy in his life, as he had once imagined it.

He averted his eyes from that shadow.

Until, one day, he returned home, and found Wei Ying, sitting at the room’s low table, holding a handkerchief in one hand. Remnants of a different life that had collected in his home. No—that he had kept. Gripped tightly.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying said, brightly, face stretched in a brittle smile. “What’s this?”

Dying for a fic where Jiang Cheng has a second in command who's the closest friend he has and has been by Jiang Cheng's side since the war, and Wei Wuxian is jealous as fuck-

Well a whole 2 people asked for it and who am I to deny the masses?

I....it'll be a happy ending eventually. Maybe

It's hit 1200 pages guys I am not okay

Very underrated dramatic moment you see, but I'm just distracted by the fact that Jin Guangyao has lost his right hand at this point so I'ma assume the novel image is mirrored for dramatic effect.

There that's better.

I need more "Lan Xichen gets a happy ending" fics is what I'm saying. Should I post a 900 page fanfic that I've invested too much of my time into?