Ok, But Like...

Hamato fam is multilingual (canon) and they raised casey multilingual don't fight me on this you will lose

Ok, but like...

There's "danger zones" in Wayne Manor.

These are areas where watching for falling objects, dangerous projectiles, murderous vigilante baby, and a plethora of other hazards.

For example, the main foyer is a danger zones.

Dick, with his acrobatic tendencies, has broken over 23 chandeliers. Thankfully, he's never been hurt. He just hangs on the chandeliers and tends to loosen them. Then tend to fall later, when unexpecting people are walking underneath. Jason has dubbed it the "phantom chamber" in lieu of the falling chandelier in phantom of the opera.

Damian’s room is also a danger zone. For obvious reasons.

Okay, but like...

Jason Todd coaching a little league team called the Outlaws.

And trying to keep it from literally everyone he knows.

Because he adores these kids, but he knows he'd catch hell if anyone found out.

Tim finds out first.

Of course he does this is Timothy Drake we're talking about.

Jason expects Tim to use this as blackmail. He's surprised when Tim doesn't. Even more surprised when Tim starts showing up for all their games, and becomes the most enthusiastic fan.

Cass follows Tim to a game one day. Gets as invested in these Baseball playing babies as Tim is.

Everything is all fine and dandy for a while... until Damian discovers the team.

Of course being the little demon he is, he forms a plan to destroy the team. "The team is a distraction to Todd and must be eliminated". So the little shit joins the team without Jason’s knowledge. His plan was was to start rumors and divide the team until it fell apart.

Buuuuut, turns out Damian Wayne likes baseball.

So now we have nearly half the wayne family invested in this team of 13 year old baseball players.

No one really knows how Barbara found out. She just started join Tim and Cass for the games.

Steph and Duke start showing up not long after. Showing up with enough snacks to feed a small nation.

The Wayne family turns out to be very enthusiastic... so much so that it makes headlines...

Annnnnnd that's how Dick Grayson joined the group.

And they thought the others were obnoxious...

This grown ass man shows up with a 6 by 2 foot banner that says "GO OUTLAWS" in giant glittery letters. He bring face paint and T-shirts for all the parents. Really he just gets way too into it.

Jason and Damian are mortified...

When Bruce sees the headlines, he thinks it's adorable. Of course he joins in all the shenanigans, just a little less chaotic.

Alfred just sits back and watches. He knew the whole time. He was the one to suggest Jason coach the team in the first place

No idea what depths of the internet this came from but I'm here for it.

Second night in a row! Fucking Mandela Cataloge.

It like 10:40 and my brain is like "hey remember the face of the category 2 Alternates in the Mandela Cataloge"...

@oliveid

Batfam quotes as things my family has said. (Featuring Latino Jason)

Tim: *Doing duolingo* Hey Jay, how do you say glue in Spanish?

Jason: El Glue.

Tim: *types it into duolingo* *pauses* *glares* You're a bitch.

Batfam quotes as things my family (and friends) have said.

Damian: *ranting* Father is infuriating at times!

Steph: I don't have a dad

Jason: I don't have a mom

Dick: You guys have parents?

Batfam quotes as things my family has said (and done)

*whole family is sitting in the living room*

Jason: *coughs*

Tim: *dives off the couch and slams into wall trying to get away from Jason*

Jason: What the hell. I don't have the plague...

Batfam quotes as things my family has said

Damian:*teases Tim about something stupid*

Tim: Hey Jay, can you tell Damian that he's being illogical.

Jason: sure. DAMIAN, DON'T BE A DICK!

Dick: I resent that...

Batfam Nerf War...

Nerf wars are supposed to be fun! Right?

Usually they are! Until you take a family full of child soldiers, emotional constipation, and trauma; give them toy guns and tell them to go.

You've doomed yourself from the beginning!

Of course no one started this intentionally. It was just supposed to be a... joke.

Jason started it.

Because of course he did!

Saw video of someone rigging a Nerf gun and said "Bitch, I can do better". Jason proceeded to create a Nerf gun that shot Nerf darts like paintball.

Now that he had a demon Nerf gun, he had to test it out. On Tim.

"He won't be THAT pissed off."

Famous fucking last words

Tim gets hit ONCE and then declares war.

Now, I don’t know if anyone knows this about Timothy Drake, but the man is a literal genius. Who decided to use his smarts to create something that would blow Jason’s "weapon of mass annoyance" out of the water.

This man build a custom Nerf gun. That fucker leaves bruises.

Tim then builds a team...

I'll write part two tomorrow!