I dont even know who I am anymore its like I have no control of my actions, thoughts, or feelings. I'm so fucking done with everything in life and i wanna end it I wanna end it so fucking bad I don't even care anymore I hate myself so much you don't even understand
Ive memorized every part of you. I can remember how your hair feels in my hand. I remember how perfect your teeth are when you smile. I can recall perfectly how your lips felt on mine. I can visualize your perfect face. I can still hear your laugh. I can feel your breath as you whisper in my ear. I remember your hands, and how they fit perfectly in mine. I can remember how close you hug, and how your hand slides down my back. I can remember every single thing about you so clearly. I remember every single thing you made me feel. Whenever i remember this, it makes me want you again. Thats what i'm sure about. So i guess my question is; Why arent you sure after all thats happened between us? Do you remember every detail of me? Do you think about me as much as i think of you?
Well, i couldnt even go 24 hours...
Ive been clean for months before, but i just cant anymore.
I used to love the holidays. But now im crying myself to sleep on Christmas Eve, praying i dont wake up tomorrow, and i dont know what changed.
I think i might have cut too deep this time...
it shouldn't be this hard... right?
Fuck... I thought we were past this.
Where were you 2 years ago? You only notice now because ive given up on trying to hide it. All 4 of my limbs are covered in cuts, so i guess it was only just a matter of time... if only my fucking teacher hadnt made me take off my hoodie, you still wouldnt know or care.
I'm actually a fucking terrible person i literally deserve to die. I deserve every single cut and scar and I deserve to bleed out one of these times. I deserve every terrible thing thats happened to me and i deserve every horrible thing thats about to happen