Helhest
The irony's a bitter pill, a twisted delight,
The less I have, the stronger I feel in the night. Empty echoes in a hollow frame,
A twisted victory in this hunger game.
Each rib, a bony crown, a badge of my fight,
Against a foe unseen, in the dead of the night.
The mirror, a canvas of decline and decay,
But in the fractures, a twisted kind of ballet.
Food, the enemy, a siren's sweet call,
But control, a triumph, that conquers them all.
The world fades to whispers, a distant refrain,
As the hunger consumes, a sweet, hollow pain.
The warmth of a fire, a distant dream's hold,
But the chills that wrack me feel strangely consoled.
For weakness is freedom, a fragile release,
From a world that demands, a body to appease.
The whispers grow louder, a chorus of fear,
But the silence within is strangely more clear.
A voice in the darkness, a chilling decree,
"Sicker is better, for that's how you'll be free."
But freedom's a cage, with bars made of bone,
A victory dance, a victory alone.
The depths I descend, a descent without end,
This twisted desire, a hunger that won't mend.
Oh, the tears that won't fall, the emotions all numb, Is this what it's worth, to finally become...
Not smaller, not thinner, but something far worse,
A hollow shell dancing, in a malnourished corpse.
- just a poem my sleep deprived mind came up with. I hope you all enjoy it cause I'm new to writing.🥴
girl exorcism ⊹˚. ♡
cuz sometimes we all get a little off track and need to wake the fuck up again !!! 🫶🩷
──★ ˙ ̟🐰 physical! 🎀
have an everything shower
do ur whole skincare routine
brush ur teeth, floss, dental care
arrange a new workout routine
dance, pilates, exercise, move around
go on a walk and thrive in nature like a plant or a tree
find and try out some new cute hairstyles
pamper urself! face masks, spa day, etc.
get ur beauty sleep
change your bedsheets and pillowcases
clean your makeup brushes
go through all haircare, skincare, makeup, etc. products
organise and donate or throw out all of the clothes you don't wear or don't make you feel like your own dream girl
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 mental! 🧸
write down all your thoughts. every one.
write down all the problems in your life right now
have a mental breakdown over something tiny and let all ur emotions out by bursting into tears
write down what you want and go over your dreams and goals
read over or write out your highest self and everything about them
analyse your mindset at the moment
write what limiting beliefs you have
remember and remind yourself of your "why", keep it somewhere you can see
write down all your bad habits
write down some new habits to counteract them, become your best self and to work towards the future
vaunt and go on a huuuge rant to urself about how beautiful and perfect and amazing you are bc you literally are <3
──★ ˙ ̟💬 personal! 🎀
sweep your room
open the curtains
wipe down all your mirrors
dust down all surfaces
go through all ur clothes and chuck out or donate ones you don't wear
clean out under your bed !!!!!!!!
rearrange your shelves
get some new posters & wall prints
go through all of the books, movies, series, content you're consuming right now and choose new ones that align with ur highest self
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 digital! 🎧
go through ur following on every platform and delete everyone that makes you feel even remotely negative
uninstall a bunch of apps you don't need
install useful, helpful, purposeful apps
go on the hunt for accounts that make you laugh, happy, or confident
redecorate your home page
revamp your social medias (pinterest, tumblr, instagram, etc)
go through all your playlists and reorganise your music
delete all depressing songs and media
go through your contacts, rename, delete, etc
Fuck May.
LOOKING FOR A F4STING PARTNER (PREFERABLY 72+ HOURS) Pls repost.
Also, every like this gets for the first week, I'll extend my f4st by an hour. Starting with a 24-hour f4st. Please share this around, I want this to be challenging. Thx!! <3 (if I break my f4st, I'm deleting my account for accountability (ToT)👍)
FUCK MY LIFE
I always say I'm going to recover but it's just an excuse to b1ng3. I wanna cut all my f4t off and bleed to death. Why do I keep falling into the same patterns? I already know how this ends every FUCKING time and I keep FUCKING DOING IT. 🫠
Pre/Post B1nge B0dy Check
First Pic: Day before 3 day 19k c4l b1ng3 (ga1n3d 12 lbs, mostly water.)
Last Pic: Today, 12 hours after b1ng3.
Fuck my life. Posting for accountability and to remind my fellow 4n4s that first 'snack/treat' is NEVER worth it. Love yall. 😭🫶
to improve physical appearance , health and hygiene are a must.
water ♡
water. please , for the love of god , drink water. get up rn and go drink some water. water does so much , want clear skin? water. want to lose weight? water. want to feel more refreshed? water. ITS SO HELPFUL!! you really don't want to be dehydrated, it has so many negative effects.
i would aim for around 2 liters (8 full glasses) a day , but you can slowly increase your water intake over the span of a few weeks if you're not ready for that. if you like me and forget to drink , set alarms or reminders for when you need to.
apple cider vinegar ♡
okay , yes, it tastes gross, but it's so good for your PH!! just drink 2 teaspoons everyday (dilute with water first) , trust me it will make your body sweat and kitty smell (and taste) soo much better!! it can also help u lose weight , decrease waist size and is so good for your skin!!
easy oral hygiene ♡
brush your teeth at least 3 times a day. i normally opt for brushing my teeth twice in a row morning and night , and once during the day (yes , even if i'm at school). also , don't forget to floss!! most importantly u wanna b scraping/brushing your tongue, along with brushing your gums and the roof of your mouth!! If you're not brushing regularly and not brushing your tongue, your breath is gonna stink.
another tip - mints > gum. no matter how minty your gum is , if you're chewing it all day it's gonna make your breath smell bad. a sugar-free mint that specialises in good breath every morning helps so much for me.
shower/bath care ♡
please wash behind your ears and your belly button. every part of your body should be clean!!! you don't want build-up.
exfoliate before and after u shave. this will leave u feeling SO smooth and helps avoid razor bumps , if you have sensitive skin (like me) it can help avoid irritation (i get SO itchy and my skin gets covered in red bumps if i don't exfoliate when shaving). personally, i don't suffer from oily skin , but if u do, exfoliating afterwards helps remove any dirt from clogged pores and any residue build-up!
use different clothes depending on what part of your body you're cleaning!! use a softer cloth for your face and kitty , and use regular clothes for the main part of your body and bum. NEVER wash your face in the shower! you want your face to have its own personal time for you to clean it so you can really focus on it. also , hot water from the shower can damage your skin and make it dry. your shower head also probably has a lot of bacteria hiding in it, so please wash your face separately after your shower.
I love being in the in-between of recovering and relapsing harder than I have ever before
Guys, I'm officially taking it seriously now.