AGGGHHHH - Blog Posts

I JUST realized that the Denali clan is called the Denali clan because that is their last name, not because they live in Denali. I have been a fan of Twilight for years and I realized this just now, and I am LIVID because I’m Alaskan and I know personally how stupid it is.

The last name Denali doesn’t even make sense. The national park and the mountain were named Denali because it is a word coming from the Athabaskan language of the Koyukon indigenous peoples of the area. Why would that be Tanya’s last name???

What’s even WORSE is that she’s originally from Slovakia! So it would have made SENSE for her to have a Slovakian or a Russian last name. And if you know ANYTHING about Alaska, you would know that RUSSIAN LAST NAMES ARE SUPER COMMON BECAUSE THEY COLONIZED ALASKA BEFORE THE USA!!!!!!!

Ugh I am irrationally angry about this I just ranted about it to my boyfriend, and he agreed with me even though he hates Twilight.

WHY STEPHENIE WHYYYY?????

And it was at this moment where we all melted💞💓💖💘💕

I'm 99% I'm about to have a meltdown or am currently experiencing one because I want to scream and cry and hit something and hurt myself and everything is going wrong and feels wrong and I can't breathe and I'm scared I'm going to lash out at my friends even though I don't want to and they haven't done anything wrong and I feel so guilty for just feeling angry at them even though I haven't even said or done anything to them as of yet and I just feel so guilty for just being angry and for experiencing a meltdown and I'm so scared of being mean and angry and hurting them and I'm scared of them seeing me like this cause it's not pretty or easy and it's not fair on them having to deal with it and be around me while I'm like this but nothing is helping and I'm scared, so so scared and one of my friends (who is on the waiting list for an autism assessment and has an autistic sibling) told me they don't see autism as a disability but as a gift but it really doesn't feel like it, especially right now (and in fact this entire week) when i feel like this because omfg is it fucking agonising. I can't even put into words how much it physically hurts and aches and I hate it and I hate that because I'm lower support needs people think it doesn't affect me as much or that it isn't so difficult as to my detriment as if it doesn't affect and impair all parts of my fucking life.