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And I Hate It - Blog Posts
it’s not fair!!! I didn’t go into one piece wanting another ship and now I’m out here everyday rallying on the side of the highway w giant poster for all forms of luffy n zoro. platonic. romantic. besties. captain n first mate. holding hands. gentle forehead kisses. above all; soulmates. I’m overwhelmed by the devotion and loyalty and trust. that they immediately belonged together from the moment they met. how effortless their relationship is. how it doesn’t need a label or definition bc the important part is they love each other, and will stay together as long as they physically can. they are each other’s axis. sun and moon. everytime i think about them i want to talk about them. when will the madness end
One of them will have to get finished eventually, right???
Me: Oh come on, man, why won't you let me do the stuff I need to do?
My brain: Ok fine, you can do whatever you want and stuff but like. Where did we last put our phone? Also remember that one time when [redacted]? Ah, and-
Me: No. No. No no no no, I need to do stuff, can you give me useful information?
My brain: Ohhh yep yep, lemme think.. hm. We made a list of things we had to do and stuff, forgot where we last put that as well.
Me: Okay thank you I'll look for that myself–
My brain: Wait we also forgot to water Jerry and Clea didn't we? We made a reminder of that on our phone. Therefore we should find our phone.
Me: No- fine- okay, I'll find the phone later, let me just find the list first.
Brain: Mmm yes, list list list list list, list list list, list, we need to find the list. The list, the list.
Me:
Brain:
Me:
Brain: Oh hey would you look at the time–
Me: nO I didn't even do a single thing!
Brain: –It's time to go out into another world! Daydreaming, baby! *disappears*
And that's when they ended up long gone, for at least an hour respectively.
Demon Slayer S4 ep4 & slight manga spoilers!!
I'm sorry but all I could think during the paper airplane scene was the fact it's the calm before the storm, all I could think was "this isn't going to last."
Mui's "let's defeat Muzan together" had me bawling in the sense I know something you don't & I don't like it
"I even ate demons.." WHY DID YOU SAY IT SO HAPPILY TAJIRO I CAN'T TAKE IT I'M NOT READY FOR SANEMI & GENYA TO MEET I'M REALLY NOT
I'm very impatient, I need ep 5 NOW
Oklahoma is attempting to pass a bill that would ban explicit romance novels. Authors, narrators, and sellers could all face fines of up to $100,000 and up to 10 years in jail for each instance.
If you live in OK, call your representative and tell them this bill should not be allowed to pass.
This is likely a test case. Republicans will try to pass it in OK and if it passes other states will likely try to pass similar laws.
In the meantime, get physical copies of books you like. Download those pdfs. Archive your AO3 stories and keep them on a physical hard drive. (Storing those files in the cloud could be problematic in the future as the company managing the cloud service can see what your files are)
Being an INTP is :
handling a confession of love by telling them to give you time to think about it, thinking about it, literally creating a pros and cons list, "which one outweighs the other?", Hm ok great, we have our answer
Do you ever feel like bleak and just so fucking tired and rundown and idk… cynical? Maybe defeated is the right word? By the world, so much so that you wish you could shut your eyes and yell “lalalalalala I can’t hear you!!!!” Like you’re 6 years old again and your little brother is trying to tell you that mom said it’s his turn to swing on the swing? And then you see something. And it reminds you that complacency is guilt, even support, in the face of evil. And your thrust back into the world, but you don’t know how to do anything to help and even when you so it doesn’t seem like enough and it doesn’t feel like it matters and you just wanna go back into the little room of pretty things and beautiful songs and ignore the secret outings raising money for “the cause” and- but you must keep going because you know deep down it’s the right thing to do even if you feel like Sisyphus and you feel like nothing will change and your scared and sore and tired and battered and bruised but timidly hopeful and determined and-
Idk.
Being Autistic/AUDHD is having one or multiple hyper fixations and not being able to talk about them to the people around you because 1) You don't want to cringe and bother them and 2) No one will give you the time of day about your fandoms. Then, once your hyperfixation is over or you have fallen out of it, someone gives you the time of day. Now you're stuck in a kind of limbo where you can't tell them that you aren't into it anymore and have to sparse the lore and tidbits that you know about it and just tell them to look it up and experience it themselves.
I am once again reminded why I loathe flying with basically my entire being. it's such an awful experience and I struggle with it so so much. it doesn't help that the last time I flew, it was one of the most awful experiences flying I've had and has left me with lingering memories and flashes that always make me want to burst into tears every time I remember. there's no real point to this, just that I hate flying, it absolutely fucking sucks and I can't wait til I get home so I can burst into tears, hug my family, pet my cat, eat a homecooked meal and pass out for the following 72 hrs. fuck flying. :(((
I'm 99% I'm about to have a meltdown or am currently experiencing one because I want to scream and cry and hit something and hurt myself and everything is going wrong and feels wrong and I can't breathe and I'm scared I'm going to lash out at my friends even though I don't want to and they haven't done anything wrong and I feel so guilty for just feeling angry at them even though I haven't even said or done anything to them as of yet and I just feel so guilty for just being angry and for experiencing a meltdown and I'm so scared of being mean and angry and hurting them and I'm scared of them seeing me like this cause it's not pretty or easy and it's not fair on them having to deal with it and be around me while I'm like this but nothing is helping and I'm scared, so so scared and one of my friends (who is on the waiting list for an autism assessment and has an autistic sibling) told me they don't see autism as a disability but as a gift but it really doesn't feel like it, especially right now (and in fact this entire week) when i feel like this because omfg is it fucking agonising. I can't even put into words how much it physically hurts and aches and I hate it and I hate that because I'm lower support needs people think it doesn't affect me as much or that it isn't so difficult as to my detriment as if it doesn't affect and impair all parts of my fucking life.