Dive Deep into Creativity: Discover, Share, Inspire
The only reason there is cameras set up in wayne manor is to make commentary on Nerf wars. The announcer sits at the batcomputer and commentates on everything.
They also like to play irl Five Nights At Freddy, Flipping through the camera, and it's kinda like red light green light. Whenever a camera is in use, the little red light goes green and all movment in that room must stop. If it goes off again they're free to move about the room.
Dick: You little shit.
Jason: They just like me better!
Dick: Right, and how much did you have to blackmail them to believe that you little gremlin.
Bruce: What's going on here?
Dick: Jason stole one of my best friends and Ex girlfriend!
Jason: I plead the fifth! Can't steal what you never had!
Dick: Why you-
Bruce: Dick, maybe consider that they do like Jason for his... personality.
Jason: Why you gotta say it like that?
Dick: This is ridiculous. *storms off all dramatically*
Bruce: Maybe for future reference, don't steal any of Dick's friends.
Jason: Fine, I won't steal any more of Dick's best friends. Yeesh.
[One week later]
Jason: *casually sitting on a seat enjoying hot cocoa*
Tim: *slams the door open* YOU BITCH!
Jason: *smirking* Hi, Timmy.
Tim: DoN'T Hi TiMmY mE, YoU tOoK BaRt FrOm Me hOw CoUlD yOU!
Bruce: Jason, this isn't what I meant when I said don't steal any more of Dick's friends.
Jason: You should have specified.
Dick: Lil' D, If you were an angle; you'd be acute one!
Damian: That was revolting.
Jason: What about me?
Tim: Ad-Jason-t
Dick: High fives Tim
Jason, snickering: shhhh...
Tim, peacfully reading:...
Jason: sneaks up and shoots a gun at the ceiling
Tim: jumps off the couch THIS IS WHY DAD DOESEN'T FUCKING LOVE YOU!
Damian: Give it back, Todd!
Jason, holding a batarang over his head: What are you gonna do? Stab me?
Damian: Pulls out throwing knife yes.
Jason: wait, what?
Damian: stabs him
Jason: You little B*tch!
Bruce: appears Hey, no swearing.
Jason: Demon just stabbed me!
Bruce: Damian, what did I tell you about stabbing your brothers?
Damian: sighs don't stab your brothers...
Tim: If I ever meet the first person who said "I'll sleep when I'm dead" I'm going to kill them.
Dick: Relax, Tim. Just drink your coffee.
Tim: This isn't even coffee. It's a 12 pack of Five hour energy mixed with cocoa powder...
Jason: An entire pack of 12 hour energy?
Tim: Does anyone else see the talking squirril?
Dick: uhhh, Tim? Squirrils don't talk.
Tim: Cool, just checking my sanity.
Dick: Last night was a mistake and we must agree to never speak of it ever again.
Tim: Okay.
Jason: What happened last night?
Dick: No.
Tim: ...
Dick: Tim... Don't.
Tim: But...
Dick: Tim...
Tim: ...I saw Dick at the men's club.
Jason: Okay?
Tim: He was on the pole.
Jason: oh.
Dick: If you wake up glued to the ceiling, no one will help you.
Jason: I would help.
Dick: You'd join him.
Damian: I would laugh.
Dick: I know you would, Damian.
(On a mission, the skylight window of Badguys™ hideout)
Dick: Okay, Redhood take the west wing. Red Rob--
Damian: Jumps into room with heavily armed men
Dick: ROBIN! YOU CAN'T JUST-- WHERE IS YOUR WEAPON?
Damian: I AM THE WEAPON!
Tim, to Damian: I swear if we survive, I'm going to kill you.
Jason: I knew I liked this kid.
Dick: Why am I always put on babysitting combat trained vigilante children.
Tim, sighing exasparatingly: I don't know how to get a girls attention.
Jason: Ask Dick. He's gay and still a chick magnet.
Dick: Talking to some girls on the other side of the room
Tim: I can't even get a guys attention! How the hell does he do that?
Jason: I don't know. HEY DICK!
Dick, turns around and litteral sparkles apear around him: Yes?
Jason, confused and distressed: Nevermind. Yea, your screwed as long as he's in the picture.
Tim: Damn.
Jason, raising a gun: I know a way to get him out of the picture?
Tim: We are not going to kill Dick, hijack a garbage truck to feed his corpse to and move to LA, Jason.
Jason: sadly lowers gun
Batman: phone rings "Hello?"
Tim: "DadJasonjustshottheguninthehouseandnoweverythingisinabsoluteanarchypleasecomesaveme" dodges vase "oh my god, DAMIAN! GO PUT THE TIGER BACK!"
Justice Legue: ...
Batman: "Wait, slow down. Jason did what? Damian has a Tiger?"
Tim: "Do you really need to ASK? THERE'S A TIGER IN THE HOUSE, BRUCE!"
Batman: "I'll be home soon. Is everyone okay?"
Tim: "My mental stability isn't but I think their fine-" BANG "Nevermind, Damian's been shot."
Batman: "Where is Alfred?"
Tim: "Silently watching us in the corner of the room." pause of silence "OH GOD, THERE'S A FIRE! I gotta go."
click
Batman: Emergency. I have to leave.
Superman, that heard everything with Super-hearing: ... Right. So-
Dick, running away with arms full of cereal boxes: Stay away from me!
Tim, running after him: YOU HAVE AN ADDICTION!!
Jason, running after Tim: HE TOOK MY GUN!
Dick: Cereal is my soulmate!
Tim: Get a life!
Dick: I'd die without my Frosted Flakes!
Jason: At least you won't be eating that junk!
Dick: I'll be burried with a box of Froot Loops!
Tim: Give it up! It's an unhealthy obsession!
Dick: hisses in raisin bran
Bang
Dick: YOU JUST SHOT ME!
Tim: Oh shit, I'm so sorry!
Jason: What have I told you about running with guns?!
Damian: I'm gonna put myself up for adoption.
Bruce: Who's going to help me take down Superman?
batchildren™: crickets
Bruce: Really? None of you? You're my kids!
Jason, from the back: We're adopted!
Bruce: Damian isn't.
Damian: I'm dating Superman's son, I can't kill Jon's dad.
Everyone else: ...
Bruce: Tim?
Tim: I'm actually dating Kon...
Bruce:... Jason?
Jason: Fuck you, old man. I just don't like you.
Bruce: Dick, tell me you aren't dating someone from the superfamily, too.
Dick: Nope.
Bruce: sigh of relief
Dick: Only Wally!
Bruce, realizing all of his kids are dating the pupils of the colleagues he dislikes most: I'm gonna go take a nap...