Transitioning - Blog Posts

Trans women who have had surgery still need to visit the urologist, not the gynecologist, because the former is familiar with our surgeries and the latter is not. You need to stop lying and spreading misinformation which could get someone killed.

Wow, everything you said is completely wrong. So it's very funny that you think my 'misinformation' is going to 'get someone killed'. That hyperbole is fear mongering and also that's just a really aggressive way to speak to a complete stranger. Especially to accuse me of 'lying'.

So let me clear up your misunderstandings.

Firstly, urologist specialize in the urinary system, which include the bladder and kidneys and also the uterus. They aren't like the male version of gynecologists. For example, urologist treat organ prolapse, where the bladder, uterus, or colon "fall" into the vagina, or will treat fistulas, especially bladder fistulas. (Which is a hole connecting the bladder and vagina.)

Secondly, Vaginoplasties are preformed by reconstructive surgeons not urologist or gynecologist in the vast, vast majority of cases. Also, vaginoplasties are not a trans specific surgery. Severe vaginal injuries, such as those caused by childbirth or disease, are also treated with a vaginoplasty.

It's laughable any ol' off the shelf urologist is "familiar" with the surgery. Plenty of doctors still refuse to preform even the simplest trans-specific healthcare 'because it's not a usual part of their practice they are comfortable preforming' let alone complex reconstructive surgery.

But my original comment wasn't about vaginoplasties, it was about checking the cervix for cancer.

So, thirdly, trans women aren't the only women with neo-cervixies. In addition to the above, people who have undergone hysterectomies of one kind or another often have a neo-cervix as well. Or, for example, if someone has cervical cancer, and needs their cervix removed, they give that person another cervix.

Because the cervix is a very important part of that set of anatomy. It keeps the uterus and other organs from prolapsing (just falling out) and is also something of a barrier that keeps junk out of the uterus. And if you don't have a uterus, it keeps junk out of the abdominal cavity.

The procedure to check a cervix for cancer is the same regardless of if its a neo-cervix or a cervix-cervix.

Meaning, gynecologist are also familiar with the cervix aspect of a vaginoplasty. As well as the rest of the vaginoplasty. Because they treat people who've had vaginoplasties. So, you know, it's perfectly normal to go see a gynecologist to have your vagina looked at.

A basic pap smear is actually simple enough it can be done with an at home kit (though if anything needs to be biopsied they'll need you in the stirrups for that).

So uh, recommending you see a gynecologist for a vaginal specific issue isn't horribly dangerous misinformation, it isn't even misinformation. It's a perfectly normal thing to do.

If a surgeon made you a vagina, that surgeon should tell you what vagina problems to look out for, what health screening you need, and what specialists you should have preform those tests for you. They'll also likely be able to refer you to someone trans friendly if needed.

Getting an at home pap smear test from a general practitioner is not a big deal. There's no need to see a urologist for that. If you need your neo-cervix biopsied there's no reason not to go see a gynocologist since trans women aren't the only ones with neo cervix.

And also most urologist offices aren't going to have speculums and stirrups.

Trans health care is not some big secret only select medical disciplines are let in on.

A general practitioner can prescribe hormones and keep you up to date on the tests you need for that. A plastic surgeon with experience is going to preform the surgeries, MtF or FtM. A general practitioner can send you home with a pap smear kit, or preform one in the office, even. A gynecologist can look at your vagina, because it's not a special or trans exclusive vagina. A urologist can look at a urinary tract or bladder infection or what have you.

Acting like trans health care is some super secret complicated thing is transphobic. That's something transphobic doctors say as an excuse not to treat trans people.

A friend of mine had a complication develop after surgery and needed a local urologist to fix it. The long term fix was surgical, but the urologist could have drained the painful mass that developed while she traveled to see her surgeon. But he refused. So did the doctors at the Emergency Room.

So she got to enjoy a very painful very long very bumpy bus ride from her rural college to the city where her surgeon was so he could take care of it for her.

YOU'RE the one who needs to 'stop lying and spreading misinformation' because your misinformation perpetuates the excuse transphobic doctors use to avoid treating trans people at all.

It is not a trans need to have a painful surgical complication corrected and it is not complicated to drain an abscess. But that doctor refused her, not because the abscess was caused by an unfamiliar surgery, but because she required that surgery because she was trans.

You are telling trans people that our medical needs are complex and overwhelming and scary. That's discouraging. And it's just not true.

Urologist don't have exclusive rights to vaginoplasties. Urologist aren't extra familiar with trans women's health needs. The cervix isn't part of the Urologist's specialty.

Calm down. Going to see a gynecologist for a pap smear isn’t going to kill anyone. And the gynecology field as a whole is making an effort to be more welcoming to trans women because it’s perfectly normal for trans women to see a gynecologist.

chat ima need yall to imagine somone

imagine a person, androgynous looking but if you had to choose, assuming youre thinking heteronormatively), see them as a guy and masculine

theyre black (very important when it comes to choosing my name tbh), nonbinary agender, usually has their afro (thats dyed blonde) out, will probably lock their hair soon

but they also love femininity, still dress feminine, and refers to themselves using the term “femboy”

whagt name do you vibe with for said person? thinking abt changing it bc my cousin makes fun of my current one a lot and my brother kinda makes fun of it

also, if you comment your own it needs to start with the letter s!! i dont want my initials to change lol

current preference is sage and soren tied for first and silas is in last place

somewhat nsft,

but YALL IM ALREADY HAVING BOTTOM GROWTH OMG

dude i cannot wait till i pass

i cannot wait till i look more masc and androgynous

i cannot wait till i look like how i want

i keep getting recommended posts by transfems and their journey and them passing im so jealous and happy for them theyre so happy they pass so well theyre so pretty i cant WAIT FOR THAT ERA OF MY TRANSITION WHERE I JUST AM SO PROUD AND OUT AND HAPPY AND POSTING ABOUT IT

yall so.. i actually started hrt 2 weeks ago (this week thursday will be my 3rd injection!) and i didnt make a post bc my dumbass got too lazy to buy (also poor) the trans flag to put up so i just printed out a picture and taped it on my wall LMAO

im gonna buy it soon yall!! along with the trans icon blåhaj :3

ALSO ITS FREE!!! BC MY INSURANCE IN NYS LEGALLY HAS TO INSURE ALL GENDER REAFFIRMING CARE SO ID ONLY END UP PAYING FOR THE NEEDLES IF ANYTHING

also picture of the pretty girl since yall haven’t seen her in a bit

day i start hrt is the day i will hang up my trans flag yall, just need to buy it first :3 🙏

IWANNASTART HRT NOW PLEASEEE PLEASEHWBBA PLEASEEEE WHY IS THE APPT FOR 4/10 IMGOJNA CEY PLEWSE PELASW

never thought id have body dysphoria over my boobs lmao

as a child, one of my biggest insecurities was my boobs.

not because i wanted them gone,

no, i wanted them to be bigger

my friends used to make fun of me because my lack of curves and ive always been a lover for biggest breasts so id always wish for them, wishing that throughout puberty that I’ll have like C or D cups.

but.. that never happened. my current breast size is around a like large b cup, small c cup (tried to figure it out at victoria’s secret and they said the same thing)

i used to be so disappointed in them until i started appreciating my body.

like my thighs and butt which are quite thick and where my body weight specifically only ever goes to lol

my face, my arms, my hands, my eyes,

even my skintone and my textured 4c hair

and with the help of my ex and ex friends,

over time,

i slowly started loving my breasts.

fast forward to now.

im no longer who i used to be.

i no longer am the person i was for 18 years.

and although whenever i look at myself, i feel happy with my body,

i just wish a few things were different.

i look at my face and wish it was longer, skinnier, more masculine.

i look at my eyes and wish they were smaller, more masculine.

i look at my hands and wish they were longer, slender, more masculine.

i look at my hair and wish it were longer, and healthy so i could keep it out to make me more masculine.

i look at my thighs when i wear pants that define them and wish they were hidden, that my thighs didnt inherently make me feminine.

and then, i look at my breasts.

the two pieces of flesh that i have longed to be bigger,

i now wish were gone.

ive never experienced gender dysphoria until now.

and i kind of find it ironic,

seeing how a trans med once told me that because i hadn’t experienced gender dysphoria (at the time), i probably wasnt trans.

i am trans.

i just dont experience the same dysphoria that others do or in the same way.

i feel euphoria whenever someone acknowledges who i truly am and i always feel weird whenever they dont (like when i was getting my hair dyed, my hairdresser had a daughter who called me “sister” and whenever she would, id feel weird. or whenever my hairdresser referred to me as my mothers daughter. they dont know that im out so i don’t blame them)

i am happy with the way my physical body looks, i just wish others still see me as who i truly am with them. a man who just happens to have a higher voice, curves, small breasts, and “birthing hips”.

i still plan on getting top surgery tho lol

hearing trans women talk about their love for their boobs always make me feel so happy for them and i wish i could give them mine lmao

im currently at the point of my transition where im happy and proud to be me

but i wish i physically matched who i wanted to be

i love my box braids and protective hairstyles in general, but i wish i could dye my hair and wear it naturally to help me look more masculine

i wish for nothing more than to finally start hrt (appointment with callen-horde on 4/10!)

i feel nothing towards my breasts. theyre just.. there. i dont feel sad or angry seeing them but they dont feel like me. like they shouldnt be there. but binding tape makes my cheat itchy and uncomfortable.

i just wished that people looked at me and went, “thats a guy”

Bet, I'll do anything emasculating and or feminine and feminizing that I'm told to do by any and all females or fully transitioned transgirls and even sissies more feminine than I.

#chastity #spoilme #paypiggy #payme #humanatms #finsubs #findom #financialdom #cashcows #walletrinse #paypigswanted #paypig #pay #humanatm #findomme #financialdomme #chasity #cashcow #walletrinsing #sugardaddy #paypigs #paymyrent #moneyqueen #footslave #findomgoddess #financialdominatrix #cashcowswanted #walletrinser #gaybooty #matrix

The support I've received from Tumblr bloggers, in regard to my gender identity, has been so helpful.

In return, even with my limited knowledge and experience, I'll try to be of help and support to others.

THIS TRANSMASC HAS DECIDED THAT WOLVERINE WILL NO LONGER BE AN UNREALISTIC TRANSITION GOAL. IT WILL BE A REALISTIC ONE. WHAT ARE Y'ALL'S TRANSMASC WORKOUT TIPS AND EXCERCISES I NEED TO LOOK LIKE HUGH JACKMAN RIGHT NOW (exaggeration) (I've already started doing my own workout plan but I'd like to hear from others what is good for masculinizing your body! thanks <3)

Like/reblog if you think that you don't need to medically transition to be transgender

Absolutely love that my blogs name is stupid little queer, because every time I get a notification that my mutuals (whom I love so dearly) post, Tumblr always roasts me

"Hey Stupid Little Queer, your mutal just posted again"

"Your gonna love this one you dumb little stupid queer"

"Hey Faggot-"

It makes me smile every time, thank you Tumblr

I love bring able to see tras people grown up, I love seeing adult trans people, I love knowing we've been here forever, and we're still here

I love knowing there's a place for me in the world, that I'm not going to grow out of this, that you didn't and neither will I.

I love this, I love you

The evolution of (trans) man.

(Well, this one, anyway.)

Age 9: "Tomboy"

Age 15: Strictly enforced femininity

Age 30: Hitting the mental limits of being closeted all his life and about to crash HARD

Age 47: Fifteen years now since starting transition. Far more good days than bad, no regrets.

The world may be full of uncertainty and danger, but I resolve to continue to find joy in who I am. Be joyful to be kind to yourself and be joyful to spite the bastards who would tear us apart.

Got an ask recently that called this pfp a "transmasc Emily" and I have not stopped thinking about it all day

Me Before HRT:

Me after HRT:

Trans Tips #10!

List off parts of yourself that you DO like!

I always see "oh I don't like this or that, I don't pass for this reason or another" ect ect ect (Also I'm totally a hypocrit for this) BUT

MAKE A LIST OF THINGS YOU DO LIKE!!!

In the process of making my Pfp, I had to think about what my face and stuff looks like, that makes it look most like me out of all of these options

MAKE LISTS OF THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF

I have a mutual, I can't remember who, but somebody said they also did voice training, and (as a singer) they could no longer reach higher pitch notes

ID BE SO EUPHORIC OF THAT FACT!!! THATS FUCKING AWESOME!!!

I can change a tire! I aired my tires and had to change one recently!!! IM STILL LIVING OFF OF THE EUPHORIA OF THAT!

This post is derailing rapidly, so I'll move on to the example part of my post!

My lovely PFP in question! I used a stardew valley pfp creator to make it. I've only played a tiny bit of stardew valley, but @wizzom showed it to me months ago, and now I'm using it for my profile!

I had to select different characteristics that matched my face, and it made me think objectively about myself,

As an artist, I had to pull myself apart by my tiny details instead of looking at the big picture. Overall, I don't pass, my features work together to look at little more fem, but each characteristic made me feel better about myself

My hair is blue! Not really a masculine or feminine thing, it just is (it's also very grown own, so you can see my very long dark roots, but whatever)

My hair is wavy, very similar to my Dad's, which already makes me feel good

My hair is very long! I have been cutting/shaving my hair for the better part of 4 years, all through high school, and I'm finally letting it grow out. I feel like there's a nice punk element to it, but also, if my femininity was highlighted with short hair, may my masculinity be defined by my long, luxurious, wavy hair

I have sun kisses on my cheeks, bridge of my nose, and shoulders from repeatedly burning and peeling. Now they're very faint freckles

I am white, but I'm not super pale. I tan very good and will be outside more when summer hits. This is the closest I could get to my skin tone

I have very thick, bushy eyebrows. My fiancé jokes about them being patchy and fucked up near the ends, and that they're just very bold and wildly thick

I have a big forehead, also like my dad!

I have more of a rounded nose (Fiance calls it a snub/snoobie nose) which i get more from my mom

I have very, very dark brown eyes to the point that in the shade, people often can't tell my pupil from my iris. It's only clear in direct sunlight

I have some eye bags, I work and overnight/revolving shift at work, and just naturally have a droopy, depressed, tired resting face

I don't have a beard (YET), but in my dream post, this is very similar to the beard I had. In my dream, my beard was my natural brown, but this pfp creator wouldn't let me change the facial hair color. (Low key love the look tho)

I do have a giant brown leather jacket that I wear constantly, he's scuffed and fucked up, I got him from a thrift store, but he has personality and I love him

I wear alot of horror t-shirts, mostly black with red accents, which is why the shirt is that color

Also, all of my shirts either have a wide neck or I've stretched the neck. I have ADHD and sensory issues and can not handle shit touching my throat. I WILL throw up (same with tags, I rip them off of everything I own/wear. I just can't)

The character creator wouldn't let me add piercings, but I have 3 facial piercings. My right eyebrow, septum, and tongue ring

I have a wider/boxier/chubbier face shape, with a soft jawline. I have convinced myself that that + my big forehead makes me look more masc

I like to joke that I have those soft masculine looks that girls are jealous of (male long lashes, boys soft kissable lips, guys with big butts, ect) just to help re-frame how I think about that stuff

I have a very broad back, I'm working out more to try and build muscle, but I'm happy for my wide back

I can go on but you get the point. Everything i try and reframe into being masculine. It can be difficult with dysphoria, but I continue to try!

Anyway, please message me! Put shit in my ask box! Comment! Add your own traits that you love! Please please please please please interact I WANNA SEE HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF

Is that a transmasc Emily pfp I see (so incredibly based)

1: I BARELY know what your talking about (Stardew Valley)

2: This is INCREDIBLY funny to me

Answer: No! Very sadly! I completely forgot she also had blue hair. I, too, have blue hair and Pronouns!

I used a stardew valley pfp creator and made myself! There's a post somewhere on this blog going over the reasons I chose certain design elements but that's just (mostly) how I look, lol!

Trans Tips #11!

Try to get some sort of Gender Affriming Gear if it's safe for you to!

I've always wanted things like binders and boxers, but but I was gender fluid and making entirely too many excuses for why I "didn't need it"

GET IT

I have been out for about 3 months now as a full trans guy, but I've presented masculinely for the last few years

As of this year (2025) my fiance has been gifting me more trans affirming items. They got me FNAF boxers that just feel great, and a packer (boxers with a bulge) and we are looking into safe binders together to pick out the best ones for me

The point is that I LOVE all of this! I love my packer, I love sitting/standing in ways that show it off, and I love the weight and feel of it! Sure I felt silly at first because it's a little silly looking but I've gotten so much more confident with it! Even if you can't wear a packer, boxers were my first step and they also felt amazing! Something about them is just so gender affirming!

Right now I just wear sports bras but it still works to somewhat flatten my chest. And I love that!

The point is to stop making excuses, obviously if your living in an unsafe environment is understand if you can't but if you can! Then it's just a game changer!

You don't need to be "more masc" or more fucking anything to wear what makes you more comfortable!

I love my packer, I love my sports bra, I love my boxers, I love my cargo pants, I love my body and my skin and what I'm willing to do to feel comfortable in it day-to-day is spend a couple dollars here and there to get gender affirming gear!

What are you willing to do to feel comfortable in your skin today?

this is also prolly a good time to mention...I have absolutely no clue how to operate a picrew thingy whatever it is

i dont even know if I have access to it 😭

and also my Tumblr acc doesn't let me DM so I'm here 😭

And I didn't even see this ask! I'm so sorry it took so long for me to reply!

You click on this! It's the big, bold, underlined caption that says "The Picrew" under the first image

Apparently, it's an embedded link that opens the pic crew icon designer website, so if you just click on those words it should let you make yours!

Once you finish, hold down on the picture and it'll let you download it or copy to your clipboard

Then you can reblog with yours!

I'm excited to see what you'll make, lol!

*starts timer*

*checks #transmen tag*

*scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll*

"Hmm, no..."

*Checks #transmasc tag*

*scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll*

"Hmmmm, not here either"

*goes to liked posts*

*scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scr-*

"FOUND IT!!!"

*checks timer*

Timer: 47 min, 2 seconds

That is how long it took me to find this FUCKING POST

JUST TO SAY

THIS POST HAS GIVEN ME A GENDER EUPHORIC HIGH I HAVNT FELT IN SO LONG

"But Li, you repost so many trans positiviy posts, why is this one so euphoric"

First of all, your beautiful, SECOND of all:

Specifically for one of the characters represented in it that i can relate to SO hard

And that is HIM

As a pre-top surgery trans guy, this shit makes me feel so EUPHORIC

Whether he can't get top surgery or doesn't want it doesn't fucking matter, what matters is that he doesn't have it, and he's still chest out and fucking proud about it

I don't know how to describe it properly but seeing somebody whose body is so much like my own, sitting there so casually, the representation has me on fucking Cloud Nine

And the whole image is beautifully created, an amazing representation of the diversity of trans men is just breath taking- the colors, the poses, the controposo, the contrasts

It's just, it's just a perfect and uplifting image all together, but still seeing someone with a body like mine represented is so beautiful and wonderful

This post has effected the way I carry myself

I used to think the peak of my masculinity right now was walking around the house in a sports bra because I don't have a proper binder rn- I was still covering mirrors to shower. Lights off, don't look down, just wash and go, close my eyes to get dressed

BUT FUCK after I saw this, I went to change and I looked in the mirror, and I saw myself in this image

I was able to look at my chest more objectively

And I just thought-like

"Yeah, that is a male body, that's what my male body is *supposed* to look like"

And just

Yeah

happy pride !! i love u my trans masc siblings 🫶 ⚧️ 🫶

this is also a redraw of a piece from june 2019 ⬇️

Trans Tips #10!

List off parts of yourself that you DO like!

I always see "oh I don't like this or that, I don't pass for this reason or another" ect ect ect (Also I'm totally a hypocrit for this) BUT

MAKE A LIST OF THINGS YOU DO LIKE!!!

In the process of making my Pfp, I had to think about what my face and stuff looks like, that makes it look most like me out of all of these options

MAKE LISTS OF THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF

I have a mutual, I can't remember who, but somebody said they also did voice training, and (as a singer) they could no longer reach higher pitch notes

ID BE SO EUPHORIC OF THAT FACT!!! THATS FUCKING AWESOME!!!

I can change a tire! I aired my tires and had to change one recently!!! IM STILL LIVING OFF OF THE EUPHORIA OF THAT!

This post is derailing rapidly, so I'll move on to the example part of my post!

My lovely PFP in question! I used a stardew valley pfp creator to make it. I've only played a tiny bit of stardew valley, but @wizzom showed it to me months ago, and now I'm using it for my profile!

I had to select different characteristics that matched my face, and it made me think objectively about myself,

As an artist, I had to pull myself apart by my tiny details instead of looking at the big picture. Overall, I don't pass, my features work together to look at little more fem, but each characteristic made me feel better about myself

My hair is blue! Not really a masculine or feminine thing, it just is (it's also very grown own, so you can see my very long dark roots, but whatever)

My hair is wavy, very similar to my Dad's, which already makes me feel good

My hair is very long! I have been cutting/shaving my hair for the better part of 4 years, all through high school, and I'm finally letting it grow out. I feel like there's a nice punk element to it, but also, if my femininity was highlighted with short hair, may my masculinity be defined by my long, luxurious, wavy hair

I have sun kisses on my cheeks, bridge of my nose, and shoulders from repeatedly burning and peeling. Now they're very faint freckles

I am white, but I'm not super pale. I tan very good and will be outside more when summer hits. This is the closest I could get to my skin tone

I have very thick, bushy eyebrows. My fiancé jokes about them being patchy and fucked up near the ends, and that they're just very bold and wildly thick

I have a big forehead, also like my dad!

I have more of a rounded nose (Fiance calls it a snub/snoobie nose) which i get more from my mom

I have very, very dark brown eyes to the point that in the shade, people often can't tell my pupil from my iris. It's only clear in direct sunlight

I have some eye bags, I work and overnight/revolving shift at work, and just naturally have a droopy, depressed, tired resting face

I don't have a beard (YET), but in my dream post, this is very similar to the beard I had. In my dream, my beard was my natural brown, but this pfp creator wouldn't let me change the facial hair color. (Low key love the look tho)

I do have a giant brown leather jacket that I wear constantly, he's scuffed and fucked up, I got him from a thrift store, but he has personality and I love him

I wear alot of horror t-shirts, mostly black with red accents, which is why the shirt is that color

Also, all of my shirts either have a wide neck or I've stretched the neck. I have ADHD and sensory issues and can not handle shit touching my throat. I WILL throw up (same with tags, I rip them off of everything I own/wear. I just can't)

The character creator wouldn't let me add piercings, but I have 3 facial piercings. My right eyebrow, septum, and tongue ring

I have a wider/boxier/chubbier face shape, with a soft jawline. I have convinced myself that that + my big forehead makes me look more masc

I like to joke that I have those soft masculine looks that girls are jealous of (male long lashes, boys soft kissable lips, guys with big butts, ect) just to help re-frame how I think about that stuff

I have a very broad back, I'm working out more to try and build muscle, but I'm happy for my wide back

I can go on but you get the point. Everything i try and reframe into being masculine. It can be difficult with dysphoria, but I continue to try!

Anyway, please message me! Put shit in my ask box! Comment! Add your own traits that you love! Please please please please please interact I WANNA SEE HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF

Also not my usual content BUT this fucking post took me in its jaws and shook me and would not let go until I created this.

I present to you, Fish Going Kitty Cat Mode:

I'll be very very honest this is nowhere close to my usual art style or how I usually draw, it just consumed me until I created it, sorry if it sucks but my page is my house and you have entered it of your own free will

rejoice. celebrations in the streets. I'm going kitty cat mode

Little update:

I have a new PFP, it's the closest approximation I can get to what I look like in real life (only exception being the beard, but i want it so canonically I have it)

So there you have it! If my moots have been wondering what I look like, now you know!

*Expanded image under the cut*

Hey! Just want to make an announcement that this blog IS safe for minors to interact!!!

I am but a baby adult! Just turned 20! I know that sounds old but I promise I'm still figuring it out too! I just stopped being a teenager! I know what it's like to be a child in and out of the closet!!!

Anyway, this comes from the fact that every other queer/trans blog has somewhere "Minors DNI!" BUT MY BLOG IS A SAFE SPACE FOR MINORS!!!

Ask me questions! Please! It's okay if you don't know how to word it or if you need help talking through it! Please interact with me do i can give good clean honest information to all my baby gays and eggs!

Also remember to, like, stay safe and stuff!

Trans story time!

I had a dream last night!

In my dream I was looking at my shitty little pre-t "lash-stach" in my bathroom mirror, kinda pushing my lip around and brushing it, wishing it would grow

And my fiancé poked her head around the corner to remind me to shave before our date. I turned my head to look at her, and told her I would

When I looked back in the mirror, I looked completely different, with a full beard, wider face, more "masculine" features

And I was stressed, looking through the drawers for a razor I could not find, i pulled out nail clippers and tweezers and eventually, I just put my hands on the counter and looked in the mirror at myself again

I ran my hand through my beard and judged weather i really needed to trim it or if it was acceptable for this date

And I remember pausing, and looking into my own big brown eyes, and thinking

"I knew it would get better one day"

Anyway

I woke up and went to rub my chin, and just felt this distant sadness as my hand met my smooth skin

But yeah. I feel like this is one of those dreams you hear about that just has this absolutely raw dialogue line

Anyway, how's your guys day going?

Trans tips #9!

Dont be embarrassed of yourself!

Somewhat story time, but it has a lesson, I promise!

I'm no longer sick! And I went out to dinner with some friends, my fiancé, and my younger sibling (NB) Whom knows about my transness

Well, we were at a Mexican restaurant when the manager walked up and was making conversation with the table. Eventually, he asked how we all knew eachother.

Now, some information about me, I still have long, blue hair that I am finally growing out after years of cutting it, and I'm pre-t. For the most part, not passing at all.

But my sibling introduced me as their brother

I felt super embarrassed

The manager asked "Brother? Who's your brother?"

Sibling points at me again, very casually, "yeah, so, my brother, his fiancé, (their) friends, ect..."

Manager starts pointing around the table, asking again "who is your brother?"

Sibling points to me again and very dismissively calls me their brother again

Now, overall, very proud of my sibling for sticking to their guns and not backing down

But in that moment I was so beyond embarrassed!

At the end I just wanted to tell them so let it go and let the manager call me their sister or something, anything to end the conversation, get me out of this mess, stop everyone from staring at me, I want a molcajete and a margarita at this point, thank you, yeah I'll pay let's just wrap this up please sibling shut UP

I was so annoyed with them

But, that was a few days ago, and I've since calmed down and I've been thinking about it all

I was the first in my family to ever come out. I've expressed my gender and sexuality differently for the last couple of years, and when my sibling came out as Nonbianary, I got them their first flag, and I walked them through coming out, and I showed them their options and their resources

And they received backlash

Because people (especially our family) weren't used to the idea of Nonbianary

My sibling considered de-transitioning

Going back to "normal"

Hiding in the closet

But I told them No! If someone doesn't refer to you by your chosen name, don't respond! I won't! I don't know who [deadname] is! I only know the name You told me! Fuck anyone who says otherwise!

Do you think I'm able to date and be engaged to the most wonderful and beautiful person in all of existence by hiding in the closet when people are mean to me? FUCK NO!

Stand up, say it with your chest, own it, and you'll be so much happier! So much more free!

They're just doing what I thought them to do

Dont be ashamed of who you are, and when you are ashamed, I won't be ashamed of you.

I can't hide in the closet, I am Valid

I may not pass, I am Valid

I may not be able to medically transition, I am Valid

I may like my hair longer, I am Valid

My voice isn't as deep as I want it to be, I am Valid

I am Valid, and You are Too

As long as you are safe to do so, don't be ashamed or afraid to come out;

And when you are, have someone else who can speak up for you!

Trans tips #8!

Modified (forced) voice training!

Get strep throat

Start to lose your voice

Realize you have to pitch your voice down to speak clearly and not in a whisper

That's it that's the whole post!

wiselittlequeer*

(Your trans tips made us smile. Thank you.)

THANK YOUUUUU!!!!

I try and post untraditional advice and tips that might help more then the usual "eat, sleep, take your meds, drink water" ect ect. So I'm glad to see people actually enjoying and interacting with my content!

Trans tips #7!

It's okay to experiment with your Gender and Sexuality!

It's okay to go through the full cycle to find what works best for you!

And now! A comprehensive list of all of my sexuality and gender changes from the start of my journey to now, to be used as an example:

Straight! Cis Woman! I had a boyfriend who cornered me at a school dance to ask me out! I didn't like him, but i had no spine so...we dated for a year without kissing or holding hands or anything...

Pan! Cis Woman! I met queer friends who introduced me to the concept of Gender and Sexuality! I still consider Pansexuality as absence of Gender in the criteria for dating...also broke up with that boyfriend

Bi! Cis Woman! I also considered Bisexuality to be some consideration of Gender in the criteria of dating

Lesbian! Cis Woman! I made alot of jokes about slowly excluding men or masc presenting people from the dating pool

Gay! Cis Woman? I started thinking about Gender Expression a bit more, Gay was a safe umbrella term for me to explore under

*this is when I met my fiance...we started dating the same night we met...(insert uhaul joke here)*

Gay! Non binary Woman? Started messing with they/them Pronouns, at the time it was something like She/They

Gay! Non binary! This was a short time frame where I felt an absence of femininity within myself, anything fem!presenting made me uncomfortable (makeup, clothing, ect)

Gay! Gender Fluid! I actually came out like this to my younger sibling first because I knew they could be trusted. Also made jokes about stealing everyone's Gender because alot of my friends started coming out at some form of NB...also I had bursts of hyper femininity followed by long bouts of masculinity...until I stopped feeling feminine for a year and was in full denial that it would come back (every time I looked at my feminine clothing in my closet I felt sick, this is when I knew what was coming)

Queer! Gender Fluid! Queer fit me better considering i was He/They/She/It dating a They/She (Side note I don't really go by it, I just live in the Bible belt where morons call me "it" to make me feel bad, if I include it at least they're still gendering me correctly)

Queer! Transgender! Me currently :) I've given all of my feminine clothing to my cousin in law, and with my fiances support I've been coming out to my family.

I know I am in a safe place to do so now that I have my own place with people I trust! I will make another post on coming out next! NOT THE POINT

POINT IS GENDER AND SEXUALITY CAN CHANGE AND YOU CAN EXPERIMENT UNTIL YOU FIND OUT WHATS RIGHT FOR YOU!!!

Also don't rush into decisions! Each of these transitions took months to a year before I figured it was right! This whole process took 7 years and I only just came out as Trans at the beginning of the new year 2025!

But take your time to get a feel for these things, it can take time to adjust and feel your feelings about certain things! You got this and I'm proud of you!

Trans tips #6

YOU DO NOT NEED TO INFANTISE YOURSELF TO BE MORE PALETABLE TO OTHERS

you don't need to infantile yourself

You don't need to be palatable

You don't need to conform to others views and opinions

You don't need to infantise yourself to be more palatable

You don't need to infantise yourself for others

You don't need to be palatable for others

This one is kind of a rant so whatever BUT

I SEE THIS SO OFTEN IT MAKES ME WANT TO GO FERAL

There was this great trans influencer on tiktok, he went by Mars, had all the surgeries, talked about his experiences, had a clothing brand, interacted with fans, allllll the good shit an influencer can do...right? RIGHT!!

I loved his, he's one of the first influencers that made me question my gender identity, made me do my own research and ask myself questions and start to realize that I, too, might be Trans

Fuckin love that guy! He's great!

But you know what's one thing that made me cringe away from him! HE INFANTISED HIMSELF SO MUCH

This goes for trans women and men, you don't need to make yourself look like a meek lil defenseless thing to be palatable to others! PLEASE

He called himself a boy ALL. THE. TIME even though he's a full ass man with a beard and body hair and age and wisdom he call himself a little boy!

He got the testosterone jelly but he called it his "boy goo" STOP IT

He stood slouched and pitched his voice up for the camera and tried to make himself sound and appear as meek and whimpy and vulnerable as he could! Just in the way he carried himself in his videos!! And it INFURIATES ME BEYOND BELIEF!!!!!!!

DONT INFANTISE YOURSELF

It's testosterone jelly, not "boy goo" even "man goo" or "man slime" if you still wanted a stupid lil name for it just ANYTHING BUT BOY GOO also that just sounds weird to begin with!!!

Your a MAN not a BOY unless you are the AGE of a BOY you are a MANNNN

Same with trans women!!!! You are not a GIRL you are a WOMAN unless you are the AGE of a GIRL you are a WOMANNNNNN

And I get it, you don't wanna be that big intimidating trans person coming in public restrooms like what the media says is evil and blah blah blah

But your fucking NOT

INFANTISING YOURSELF IS TRANS ERASURE

We are not meant to hide in the shadows or be in the back of the classroom or anything like that! Be proud about who you are! Square your shoulders! Chin up! Pick up your feet! Walk with confidence! PLEASE

End of rant but I just needed to get that out of my system

Also i have a rant about trans people sexualizing themselves but that's a different rant for another day!

Trans tips #3!

I feel like this is said over and over and over but I wouldn't be a good Trans Teacher unless I reminded you to Please Practice Safe Transing!

(I don't know how else to word this)

If you wear Tape! Don't tape your Nips! If you do, get pasties or something! Use proper tape! Not duct tape or packing tape / ect.! Take care of your skin! Use baby diaper wash cream and let your skin heal before you tape again! Do Not Rip Your Skin Off For The Sake Of Taping!!!

If you Bind! Even if it's exceptionally tight sports bras! TAKE! THOSE! FUCKERS! OFF!

You should spend at LEAST an hour outside of binders for every 2 hours you spend binding! That's just half the time! Take it tf off!!! The next post will be about rewording how you think you talk to yourself so look out for that!

DO NOT SLEEP OR EXCORCISE WHILE BINDING!!!

Drink lots of water! Stay hydrated! Tea or Coffee is not Water!!! Yes it contains water! But buddy, you body needs pure, unflavored, no additives water to help flush your kidneys and your system!

I know your dysphoric, please don't wear your hoodie or jacket if you are Too Hot! If it's warm enough to the point that you are sweating! Don't wear your hoodies and jackets!!! Please!!!!!

Take your other medicines and eat foods! It helps your meds work and your body work and your mind work and for the love of Fuck eat something!!!

Like/reblog if you think that you don't need to medically transition to be transgender