Hate That I'm 19 And Done With High School Now

dropping off the Internet again (not posting or responding to anyone for probably a week again) and debate suicide

i love my boyfriend but I can't stand the thought of being perceived or seen currently. I deleted the photos I sent him last night this morning cause I couldn't stand it.

i don't know why I just have the urge to avoid and ignore everyone and shut down.

"Suicide is selfish." I don't care??

if I actually cry this year it might be because of this pain. cause holy fuck. i am in pain.

I swear so much has happened these last 3 days that nothing feels real, and it's not even bad stuff, just very eventful days and it's leaving me very floaty and confused

it feels like I haven't stopped to take a break or take in anything fully

I should've brought my blades with me to school today. i was so close to putting them in my bag yesterday and I should've.

i really really fucking need to right now and I can't go home for another 2 hours.

gonna fucking die or something

do they not get body language? no, I guess fucking not. stop touching me.

going to attempt to get away with wearing long sleeves until May hits. hopefully the scars will be faded more by then.