Can I Really Call This Crying? When All That Happens Is My Eyes Well Up With Water And Only One Or Two

↓

↓

WHY IS EVERYTHING SO GODDAMN COMPLICATED AND CONFUSING

why do I barely bleed. I hit deep styros again (wouldn't say baby beans even though I think I saw a few)

and it's barely bleeding or dripping. why does this happens with all my cuts.

dropping off the Internet again (not posting or responding to anyone for probably a week again) and debate suicide

Screaming at the top of my lungs

"I fucking deserve this"

"Baby was it worth it?"

Guess I wasn't worth shit

starting off the morning with extreme anxiety because I don't wanna go to school, woke up absolutely way too early so that's even less sleep, woke up to messages from A, who I haven't heard in 4 months and I don't want to open them

increased anxiety and suicidal ideations this morning, such fun

2nd degree burns again but this time its from a sunburn. it fucking hurts because this time its blisters unlike a few years ago when the er doctors just cut away the skin (I casually set my hand on fire)

i don't wanna speak, I don't wanna do any form of communication, I don't wanna type or write, I don't wanna talk. i don't wanna move. i don't wanna do anything.

again.

again.

again.

i just want to not exist, just wanna lay and rot, just wanna die.

debating to post on my art blog but it's sh art. like, I dunno man, some irl's follow that account.