Being Pissed While Suicidal Is Leading Up To A Great Idea Later Tonight

if I actually cry this year it might be because of this pain. cause holy fuck. i am in pain.

discovering my bf followed my Spotify. uh, well, okay. gotta set my settings so it doesn't show him when and that I'm listening to music.

tha ks for ruining my night mom

now I wanna put on my shoes, grab my blades and walk down to the park to just fuck shit up

I need to stop going deep on my arm, its gonna bite me back in summer

I've been feeling like throwing up the last few days, maybe I should. maybe it'll be successful this time.

WHY IS EVERYTHING SO GODDAMN COMPLICATED AND CONFUSING

i have always been fat. even as a kid. I've never known to see myself skinny or bones at all. i literally cannot imagine how I'd look skinny. and I fucking hate it. the issues should have been worse when I was younger, maybe that would've fucked my brain more and I could have done something right with my life.

want to commit but I got a thing going on tomorrow, so suicide debate is postponed. (I'm upset for no reason and hating on everyone)