POLL! PLEASE REPOST FOR BIGGER SAMPLE SIZE!!

Very exciting to have what I've termed a "clinically significant bug moment" and notice that my gender dysphoria became exponentially worse as it happened.

While I don't experience anything I would think of as species dysphoria necessarily, I do think about how much I've always enjoyed things draped over my shoulders/trailing down my back due to my pressure stim

Do people still make and post kin playlists, is that still something people do

I've also had an interesting time thinking over the few memories I do have and realizing that they all fill in gaps in my current lived life

I have so many images of architecture and interior design saved to put here....

@classicaldreams

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**SPOILERS FOR THE BARBIE MOVIE**

I saw the barbie movie yesterday and found almost every feeling I have regarding humanity to be challenged. I struggle greatly with reconciling with my own humanity, especially with the isolation I feel from it due to some personal characteristics, as well as due to a lot of negative experiences growing up, ranging from abusive family to a host of adults who did nothing to help me as I moved through that exact abuse, as I moved through chronic health issues, through my undiagnosed autism, consistently struggling to fit in amongst those who seemed to reject me consistently. All of those feelings became very neatly tied together with my kintype, a nonhuman misanthrope.

This movie ran completely counter to my own held beliefs.

To see the negatives depicted, in barbie experiencing misogyny for the first time, in the discussions of how hard it is to be a woman, balanced in barbie's choice to be human, the imagery of her struggling to do things as simple as drink and her isolation from humanity itself, juxtaposed next to her finding a sense of beauty in it all, in her ultimately choosing to be human because all of the joy and wonders and experience is worth the pain and the risks. That ultimately, the love of the experience is worth it.

It's something I never imagined to see depicted on screen, and it's something that made me actively sob when I got home. The idea of this experience being worth it instead of being something akin to a punishment never crossed my mind, and I'm being left with a lot to consider. It feels almost overwhelming, I simply don't know where to start..

I must say, being involved with the kin community on a genuine level is still something I value, but I am not certain how much I still identify with it. This blog will remain standing of course, but I may discuss spirituality on a more general level.

Going to an irl con today as well! I have some regret towards not bleaching my hair for it, but I won't be there for most of it unfortunately; telling myself I could have also painted my nails but that's also fallen by the wayside. I'll have much cleaner opportunities in October and December to pull everything together - those are dates I know about in advance.

I'm discussing this on my main blog as well but having a music special interest is so. Oh it is so perfect for us, with a healthy dose of classical and orchestral of course ✨️