Latest Posts by marauderposts - Page 2
James and Lily on their first date and Lily can’t seem to understand why James gets pissed off when he sees a black stray dog sitting outside the Three Broomsticks wagging his tail.
Jily passing notes in class in 7th year
Jily getting caught by McGonagall and told to read it out loud and everyone thinking it'd be all cute and adorable now that they're dating but the first sentences go:
"Hey. Ging, go to Hogsmeade with me."
"We're dating you bum. of course i m going with you. Got to make sure you don't fall on your face since you're that clumsy"
"I'm quite coordinated actually. In the air, on the ground, in a bed ;)"
Jily snickering as the class laughs and McGonagall never asking them to read out their notes out loud again.
McGonagall: Congratulations. You are officially the worst behaved students I've ever met.
Marauders: !!
Sirius: We've done it, boys!
*Marauders cheer*
McGonagall: They don't pay me anough for this job...
what's a crackship that you wrote/read ab and now genuinely ship on otp level? mine's harry/tonks HAHAHAA
OKAY WAIT.
THIS FEELS TARGETED BC I JUST STARTED SHIPPING REGULUS/JAMES, AND I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FEEL ABOUT IT.
Okay first of all: Regulames Blotter? LOOOOL
Second: the fics for this ship are so good?? Pls write more of these bc now all I can imagine is the power couple James and Regulus would be.
Sirius Black Narrating his First Quidditch Match
“Welcome to the 187th annual Quidditch match!” Sirius roared into the microphone over the general din.
“Oh, I regret this already,” Professor McGonagall mumbled under her breath. She turned to face Sirius. “Mr. Black, we do not number our Quidditch matches that way.”
“Well, we should,” Sirius responded quickly. “It would be much easier to keep track of them.”
“I think that the system that we are using now is working just fine,” Professor McGonagall responded dryly.
With a nod and a wink, Sirius said, “Ah, I see. You want to keep things traditional. Got it. Change is hard.”
Professor McGonagall looked up at the sky as if sending a quick prayer to any gods that may be looking down from above. “Mr. Black, when I told you that you could fill in for Mr. Harper as the Quidditch Commentator, you promised me that you would behave yourself.”
“Did I?” Sirius asked innocently.
After receiving a glare from Professor McGonagall, Sirius rolled his eyes. “Yes, Professor, I promise.”
Fully aware of the fact that she would soon come to regret this, Professor McGonagall nodded her head once, indicating that Sirius could start the commentary for the match.
Feeling eager, Sirius immediately belted out, “Good morning, Hogwarts!”
“It’s two in the afternoon,” Professor McGonagall interrupted.
Ignoring her, Sirius continued, “Welcome to our first game of the season.”
“This is our fourth game,” Professor McGonagall corrected.
Again, Sirius pretended not to hear her. Gesturing to one end of the pitch, he said into the microphone, “On one side, we have the chivalrous, the talented, and very courageous GRYFFINDORS!”
Cheers erupted from the crowd as the Gryffindor Qudditch team flew out on their brooms into the stadium.
“On the other side, we have the brilliant, the creative, and the stone cold RAVENCLAWS!”
The audience cheered for the Ravenclaw team as well.
“Let the battle BEGIN!”
“It’s — it’s not a battle,” Professor McGonagall said through clenched teeth.
“And the balls have been let out,” Sirius said, watching the two bludgers fly into the air. His dark eyes trailed the tiny golden ball that was weaving between them. “Watch out for those two black balls. They look like they mean business.”
The coach stepped onto the field, quietly lecturing the players to play a nice, clean game. A few seconds later, the quaffle was thrown in the air.
“And the quootle has been set free!”
“It’s the quaffle,” Professor McGonagall enunciated, her fists balled.
“And now we’ve got Kelly from Ravenclaw, who has got a hold of the quootle and is racing away on her broom.”
“Mr. Black, it’s called the quaffle,” Professor McGonagall reminded him for the second time.
“Kelly’s passing the quootle to Rick. Then back to her. Then back to him. Then back to — whoa. Anyone else feeling a little dizzy here? Surely there’s gotta be a better way than to just — WHOA! Rick threw the ball and made it through that circle thing. To bad for those Gryffindors, ‘cause it looks like the Ravenclaws have just gotten themselves 15 points.”
“No,” said Professor McGonagall, willing herself not to strangle Sirius. “It’s 10 points. Only 10.”
“Yeah, but I thought their cool maneuvering deserved a couple of extra points.”
“That’s not how the game works,” Professor McGonagall said sharply. “You told me that you understood the rules of the game, Mr. Black. Are you telling me that you have no idea what you are doing?”
Sirius scoffed. “Of course I know what I’m doing. I live in a dorm with James. Do you honestly believe that he wouldn’t lecture all of us about the rules of Qudditch? Speaking of which…” Sirius trailed off and waved frantically at one of the scarlet-robed players racing on a broom around the field. “HI, JAMES! HEY! LOOK AT ME!”
James waved his arm at Sirius in a dismissive ‘go away’ motion before seizing the quaffle and shooting it into the goal.
Sirius was clearly not pleased that his friend was ignoring him. “So rude. You’d think that he would take one small moment to say hello. But no. Instead he puts all his attention on the dang quootle. Shows what he thinks is most important.”
“Ten points to Gryffindor,” Professor McGonagall said into the microphone as the crowd cheered, elated that Gryffindor had made its first goal.
“Oh no. After that rude treatment he just gave me? I say we take 10 points away from Gryffindor. Start them negative,” Sirius insisted.
Rolling her eyes, Professor McGonagall said, “You can’t just take away points from teams.”
“Sure I can.”
“No, I assure you that you can’t.”
“Well, fine,” Sirius answered huffily. “Then I’ll just give Ravenclaw an additional 20 points.”
“You can’t do that either,” Professor McGonagall said, pausing as the Ravenclaws scored a second time. “We can give Ravenclaw ten more points because they just scored, but that’s it.”
“Ugh, fine,” Sirius said, waving his hand indifferently.
Professor McGonagall sighed, massaging her temples.
“And Roger picks up the quootle and passes it to Kelly,” Sirius continued. He paused for a moment to add, “And if Roger can afford the new Thunderbird 3000 broomstick, he can certainly pay back the four galleons that he owes me.”
“Mr. Black — ” Professor McGonagall started.
Sirius interrupted her. “I’m just adding a little zing to the commentary, Professor. No harm done. Kelly passes the quootle to Kevin, who throws it to Rick, then — INTERCEPTED BY MARLENE! Mmm — I wouldn’t mind going out with her. Have you seen her play? Stone-cold, yes, but gorgeous. Damn, she is looking fine out there — ”
“Mr. Black, stop objectifying female players.”
“Would it make you feel better if I objectified the male players as well?” Sirius asked sweetly. Without waiting for an answer, he plowed on, “Marlene passes to Gerry of Gryffindor, who is looking scrumptious in that Quidditch uniform. Can I hear a heck yeah from the audience of you agree?”
Sirius looked extremely pleased with himself when a sizable chunk of the audience yelled back, “Heck Yeah!”
Professor McGonagall rolled her eyes.
Sirius grinned. “I just wanted to let you all know that the Gryffindor captain James Potter is single and ready to mingle if your name is Lily Evans — ”
“I’m warning you — ” Professor McGonagall threatened.
“Gerry passes it back to Marlene, who goes in for the steal, and — YES! She made Gryffindor’s second goal!”
The Gryffindor fans went wild, stomping their feet and clapping, while the Ravenclaws looked surly.
“Ah, where is the quootle,” Sirius continued restlessly, searching the field. “All right, there it is, and — WHOA! That black ball almost knocked Aidan off his broom! Isn’t anyone going to do something about that?”
“That’s the bludger, Mr. Black,” Professor McGonagall explained impatiently. “It’s supposed to do that.”
“The blooder?” Sirius asked.
“The bludger,” she corrected.
“Blugger?”
“BLUD-GER. And ten points to Ravenclaw for their third goal. The score is now 30 for Ravenclaw and 20 for Gryffindor,” Professor McGonagall said into the microphone.
Snapping his fingers together, Sirius said, “I know the ball that you’re talking about. The blooger. Very nasty ball, most likely created by a group of Slytherins hell-bent on making children suffer.”
“Mr. Black — ”
“I’m just saying,” Sirius answered matter-of-factly. “If those bloogers weren’t so aggressive, Aidan wouldn’t be running away from one!”
“He’s not running away,” Professor McGonagall said, tugging on the microphone. “He’s seen the Snitch!”
Sirius tugged the microphone back. “The snatch? Hey everyone! Stop what you’re doing! Aidan’s gonna get the snatch!”
“The Snitch!” McGonagall yelled into the microphone, feeling exasperated.
“He’s gonna get it! Any second now. He’s weaving and bobbing and doing much better than Steven with the ugly face.”
“Mr. Black, please don’t insult the other players,” Professor McGonagall said tersely, sitting on the edge of her chair.
“Well, it’s true,” Sirius answered unapologetically. “His face looked like it caved in on itself. HEY! Do you think that he got hit in the face by a blooger as a child? Repeatedly?”
“Get back to the match,” Professor McGonagall called out.
“Right,” Sirius continued. “We’re all rooting for Aidan to get the ball, ‘cause his face is slightly less off-putting. In fact, I think he’s going to get the ball… now. No, wait…. now. Riiight now! Okay, okay. 1-2-3… NOW!”
“Mr. Black, stop this nonsense!” Professor McGonagall ordered him.
“He’s reaching…. he’s reaching…. and… YES! AIDAN GOT THE SNATCH! WAHOO! 10,000 POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR!” Sirius yelled as the crowd went wild.
“150!” McGonagall yelled, changing the score. “Gryffindor wins, 160 to 30!”
“Yeah, Gryffindor!” Sirius bellowed, punching his fist into the air and knocking McGonagall’s hat off by accident. “Bet you Ravenclaws wish you’d stayed in bed this morning, huh?”
“All right, that’s enough. Hand me the microphone,” Professor McGonagall said sharply.
Sirius leaned into the microphone one last time. “S-Dog out!”
Remus: Hey guess what this jumper is made out of
Sirius: Boyfriend material?
Remus: *rolls eyes* No, it's 100% wool
Remus: I'm a wolf in sheep's clothing
James: Why is your camera roll half Sirius and half chocolate?
Remus: I keep what I love.
I genuinely feel like Harry on Felix Felicis is what James was like 24/7
remus is me. i am remus. monopoly is sacred.
Remus normally: I hate capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work 3 jobs to afford basic necessities.
Remus, playing monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.
Bitches be obsessed with a group of fictional friends that grew up too fast in the middle of a war in the 1970’s at Hogwarts and raised hell and laughed and spent nights under the full moon in pure selflessness and loved each other without limit because they were home to each other. It’s me, I’m bitches.
The Marauders going through wedding photos
*picture of james and lily*
James: So this is me and my wife
*picture of james and sirius*
Remus: This is James and his other wife
*picture of james and his broom*
Lily: And this is James and his other other wife
You're a LyCANthrope, not a LyCAN'Thrope
James Potter to Remus Lupin at some point
Snape: Potter.
James: Snape.
Sirius: Sirius.
James: Okay, you just said your own name, mate.
Sirius: It was the only one left!
Harry: So today, Snape pointed at me with his wand
James: And?
Harry: He said, “There is an idiot at the end of this wand”
Lily: He called you an idiot?!
Harry: Well, I got detention for asking “Which end?”
James: *sobbing* That’s my son
where did these ideas about the marauders even come from like we know about 0.3% about them from the series
Ah yes…October…a time for bonfires, cozy sweaters, Hocus Pocus, carving pumpkins & wearing black to mourn the premature deaths of James and Lily Potter
marauders: we’re just so cool and rebellious
marauders: spend hours upon hours in the library meticulously studying hogwarts, sketching maps, researching magic way beyond their age level
marauders: skool sux get rekt filch
Babysitting At The Potters'
Lily: I just wanted to thank you guys for taking care of Harry tonight.
Sirius: Mhmm.
Lily: I mean, I just really appreciate it, you know?
Remus: Oh... thats...
Lily: Just to have a night free of stress and worry... Thanks, you two.
Sirius: Oh, don't thank us.
Remus: No really, DO NOT thank us.
Lily: Wait— what?
James: WHY IS THERE A MURAL DEDICATED TO PADFOOT ON OUR LIVING ROOM WALL
Sirius: Moony. Grab the irreversible crayons and run.
"Evans and Potter," sneered Mulciber, stepping towards them. The other Slytherins followed. "Beauty and the beast, if you will."
"Now, now," said James; "I wouldn't call Evans a beast."
All of the Marauders in a car, absolutely wankered because “oh sure people are not supposed to drive drunk - it said nothing about WIZARDS driving drunk!” Of course they're pulled over and when the officer reaches the car there's a huge fucking stag at the wheel, a wolf-dog in the back with a rat sat on its head and a furious Remus Lupin in the passenger seat. "I can't - *sigh* - I really can't explain this."
Mrs. Potter: I have to ground you. I am grounding you. You are grounded.
James: What about my job at the Quality Quidditch Supplies?
Mrs. Potter: Okay, fine. Other than work. And no owl.
James: My owl is sick.
Mrs. Potter: Then no wand.
James: I need my wand for school. Mrs. Potter: Then, no... uh... *glances at Sirius* No Sirius.
Sirius: What?! No Sirius?!
Mrs. Potter: NO SIRIUS!
Remus creates the Personally Victimized by Sirius' STUPID PUNS club and almost all of Hogwarts shows up to the first meeting
Sirius Black: So now that we know Remus Lupin is actually Werewolf McWerewolf we gotta do something totally awesome to help him out once a month while he's ReMSing.
James Potter: I completely agree.
Sirius Black: We should be animals.
James Potter: I wanna be a dragon.
Sirius Black: I wanna be an Acromantula.
James: I wanna be a boggart and take the form of my enemy's greatest fear.
Sirius: I wanna be a freaking hippogriff and fly around majestic as fuck.
*research*
James: This looks really hard.
Sirius: Yeah this is gonna take forever.
James: Or, hear me out, you could probably be a dog. Sirius Black. Black Dog. Get it?
Sirius: Yeah, you can be a deer or something.
James: Why a deer?
Sirius: Why NOT a deer?
James: Fuck yeah.
*Marauder high-five*