Being Autistic - Blog Posts

when the autism is being an actual mental health problem instead of making me obsess over fictional characters again:

when the essay prompt lets me get a little autistic with it

this is what its like being autistic on tumblr

"Wow you're autistic? I never would've guessed. You must be really high functioning!"

I want to kill you.

hi people of tumblr, any recommendations for stim toys? you may have seen my previous post a month ago about them but those were from somewhere else and because of how we got into a fight and they were mean, they took it away.

help an autistic adhd person out please.

what type of stim toys do i need to make sure that everything’s okay and doesn’t go wrong?

cw rant. cw parents, bullying & ableism (?)

since my birthday is a few days away now, i told my mom that i wanted an animal crossing birthday party and a cake and even if she didn’t order the cake, I’ll just have the cake toppers and stick it on my cake. either way is okay.

she goes ahead and asks me why i didn’t tell her sooner but what she doesn’t understand is that, we were ordering a limo to come to my house and go fun places and have the BEST time EVER, so that when I grow older in the future, I can remember all that and to live the best life. on top of that, we were buying a cake, party stuff, balloons, crowns, etc and stuff were OUT of stock and that I didn’t wanna ask and they didn’t see. I DID see a cake that had Tom nook a day ago but when I confirmed the order, it went out of stock FAST. that’s what I said and the MAIN reason why I couldn’t say.

she has the audacity to bring up my neurodivergency and goes “no wonder you’re not normal!” towards me knowing that i struggle with things. and then she goes “can’t you see thats for babies? you’re so old for that anyway..” and I told her, “but it’s my fixation game? getting a cake will just make it better because I’ll be really happy.” and she says, “you’re a fucking grown bitch. you’re not a kid anymore, youre a teen thats working, stop being childish. youre too fucking young for that. pick something else!!!” and then storming out the room.

i just feel really bad because when i was younger, when I played mario kart for the switch, isabelle was the first character that made me addicted to playing as her in the mario kart game and then, when I discovered SSB (smash bros for the 3ds and switch), I became obsessed with both male and female villager. so since they introduced me to animal crossing, that’s when I thought of getting a cake of them so that I can remind myself that nothing can stop me from loving the characters and the game.

SHE LITERALLY BROUGHT ME THE GAME. she KNOWS that I cannot HELP watching it ALL the time. she knows that i like Tom nook and wants his birthday balloon to carry to my work place with party bags but loads of people hate me for being different and neurodivergent. nobody really likes me. expect 2 people. so therefore I can’t do shit about it. I didn’t wanna be seen as the “weird autistic person who likes childish stuff”. but she makes me feel like that.

now I have to do my birthday without it for the last time, and then get it for my next birthday that’ll be next year in 12-13 months since it’s in February.

I just feel so bad and mad at myself for asking cause she brought up how autistic i am. and because she always gets angry for stuff I cannot control nor the amount of stuff I get told. nor my health issues and totally shutting down and lashing out on everyone when mad.

she gaslights me alot also. and is severely negative to me. so now I have to do my birthday without it and have a normal birthday in order to avoid being “weird” or seen as “not normal” and “stupid” and “socially acceptable.”

And she told me to stop watching those characters because they don’t “matter”. like alright i get that im retarded and a weirdo. no need to make me feel dread about it.

something happened and im really sad and also happy.

happy chinese new year to all, but YOU GOTTA READ THIS.

for more than a year (3 yrs almost), i’ve done a self diagnosis on myself with spd (sensory processing disorder) and adhd (few others too)

the man took an hour late to arrive but LOL

went to this place and told the man about how i’ve been bullied and what was going on. so i obviously didn’t say i was gay but my mom did bring up how somebody was gay and was bullying me as a gay person (smart man knew i was gay from how I went 😝✌️ along with saying the word “gay” but he didn’t make it obvious until my mom looked away and he smiled and mouthed “yes good im proud for you”).

since i get extremely uncomfortable when they kept talking about my ASD so then i felt like crying cause yk mental health issues + illnesses, etc shit being exposed and almost cried (they never knew bc i never made it obvious but my eyes watered under my hoodie), and yk I felt really really sad than my mood was today.

THEN THE BIG NEWS CAME.

since you never knew i was neurodivergent, i’m gonna let you know.

i didn’t know HALF of what he said because he spoke fast but

i managed to catch half (idk if half atp cause he got LOADS of diagnosis for me but it was too much and he spoke really really fast)

HE WAS FRIENDLY BUT

i FUCKING KNEW. that the spd was right. I WASNT SURE BUT HE SAID I HAVE IT. YESSS A REAL DIAGNOSIS.

he said im diagnosed with asd, adhd, spd (sensory processing disorder), tics (not like tourettes but he did say something WILL cause me to tic but it’s only anxiety that will cause it a few times but if it gets worse, i must tell him) + my anxiety will cause me to tic (like shivering and form different tics but its not like tourettes that people ACTUALLY have).

he also said my auditory sensory processing disorder as well (+ with sensory processing too), he said i had something sensitivity (idk what it was because he spoke REALLY fast) but i think he said sensory or sensitivity disorder (if you knew what it’s called, PLEASE lemme know).

stuttering disorder + high functioning on asd + low functioning on adhd (lemme know if functioning is out of date or not) and some other stuff.

BUT I GOT AN OFFICIAL DIAGNOSIS GUYSSSSS

i’ve tried to find the “congratulations on the neurodivergency cake” but I found this.

congratulations to me on my further neurodivergent diagnosis :))

The one thing I've noticed when I've told people I'm Autistic is when I talk to someone about something interesting and they are bored they go "I know you're Autistic and I get it. It's your special interest"

Actually no it's not. I just happen to know a lot about certain subjects

⚠️🚨TW: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, SUICIDAL IDEATION,SH🚨⚠️

Me when I see someone who has sh scars because they actually cut themselves instead of harming themselves in a way that didn't scar like a coward: you have something I want

Me when I see people who have tried to kill themselves instead of crying and begging god to kill them like a coward: you have something I want

Me when I see people who can't brush their teeth,take a bath or even get out of bed because of depression instead of doing all of those while still dying inside because they "don't want people to worry" like fucking cowards: you have something I want

Me when I see people who are actually taken seriously when they say they have depression because they actually look like it instead of being called dramatic because they perfected the "I'm fine, don't worry abt it" face and people actually believe that now: YOU HAVE SOMETHING I WANT

Autism Speaks moms' in nutshell

Lead life with empathy. That's all I can say. When you lead life with empathy, you can make the world a better place.

Lead life with empathy. If you want to be an actual ally that can help make a difference, you have to lead life with empathy and compassion. We teach children all the time to treat others the way we want to be treated, so why not continue that into adulthood?

"Freedom is the right of all sentient beings"-Optimus Prime

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If you would like to see all of the fandoms, look through these posts

IF YOU DON’T SEE YOUR FANDOM, send me a message saying what fandoms I missed and I’ll add them

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FOLLOW ME TO KEEP UPDATED ON THE PROJECT/SEE THE FINISHED PROJECT

Considering some days can be rough, I definitely think a good cry is needed regardless of gender or age. Crying is what is needed for that release.

Proving a point to my boyfriend.

PLEASE REBLOG if you (male or female) believe it is perfectly okay and natural for a guy of any age to cry

I went with the Minotaur Hug. Having hugged wookies and tree people at Disneyland, I know that a hug like that feels really good. And I always need that comfort.

fuck it I'm bringing back the poll meme from January

You're welcome! Thank you so much for answering my ask! I love this comic and your work!

I am a huge fan of Señorita Cometa! I absolutely adore Alex, Puig, Adal, and Sofia. But, I have a random question I wanted to ask. I am Autistic and really relate to Alex as a character. Is it weird that I headcanon her as neurodivergent? I only ask because I see her hyper focus on what she cares about, her social awkwardness, and her ability to be strong once she puts on the helmet as her alter ego. Again, I don't want to influence anything, but I just wanted to let you know why I absolutely adore Alex and think she's so awesome.

It's not weird at all! I think this is a really cool headcanon! ♥ thank you so much for sharing it with me! ♥

It's not easy being green, but it is absolutely worth it.

Same here plenty of days

Haven't published in a while, but I still enjoy writing some things. As usual, tons of ideas but rarely write them down.

Reblog if you write fanfic and would be totally down with your followers coming into you askbox and talking to you about your fic

I prefer saying, "Hi," or "You're very pretty" (regardless of gender) or "I like your (insert whatever you noticed here)." Basically, I figure that I might survive if I try to befriend the monster. So far, my friends include La Llorona, the Bride of Frankenstein, a doll-eyed clown lady who wants to turn me into a lampshade, a ghost lady in a haunted lake who was outfitted by Satan himself, and a vampire bat who convinced me to eat the spider on my necklace. I make neat friends. 😊😊😊

I like haunted houses in theory BUT I have no idea how to react when the actors speak to you. They ask me a question and I just… answer it…

The scariest part of a haunted house is the unscripted social interaction.

This webcomic (Monsters and Girls by Idolomantises) is one of my favorite works in recent years, and I especially love these two characters. Sera (the angel) absolutely loves her wife, Lili (the demon). However, being an angel, she is much more nervous about being intimate with the woman she loves. And as much as Lili loves to tease her wife, she is understanding of Sera's hesitation and is willing to both help ease her into things as well as let her back off from doing anything she doesn't want to do. It's something that as an Autistic person I understand wholeheartedly. I want that personal interaction with people, but I am also hesitant about my own boundaries and directly interacting with people. I just wanted to thank Idolomantises for creating this comic and giving us such a wonderful couple who knows how to listen to each other.

A Kiss for a Succubus

[Patreon / Webtoon]

I finally watched the final season of The Owl House, and it cemented Luz as one of my favorite Disney Heroes of all time. Growing up as an Autistic person especially with not even getting a school diagnosis until I was 13, I relate to the idea of simply wanting to be understood. The fact that feeling becomes Luz's source of power is beautiful. Thank you, @danaterrace , for giving us something so beautiful.

I still have my Mickey Mouse plush from when I was two. And, my bookshelves are filled with comics, manga, and novels based on stuff like Disney movies. We all love what we love, and that's what makes us happy in life. No one should be judged for that.

just like.....the bizarre vitriolic hatred i see on here for autistic ppl who like "childish" things made for little kids is so frustrating and heartbreaking to me. allistics already hate us and infantilize us, so they see an autistic person who happen to like something "childish" and mock us for it.

but what really breaks my heart is seeing OTHER autistic ppl who think of themselves as being "better" than those who like "childish" things and make fun of them bc theyve been taught to hate by an ableist society. doesnt it get exhausting. doesnt it hurt inside to be full of the lies and hatred neurotypicals taught you. doesnt it hurt to take out that hatred on your fellow autistic ppl, to mock them for something that allistics already mock them for. why. why do you do this. who did this to you.

As an Autistic person who spends way too much time researching things, I have to agree that the way Autism Speaks does things is atrocious. Autistic people deserve kindness, love, and respect. Not fear and hatred. I am not ashamed of who I am, and I am happy to just be me.

Fun fact: I’m autistic I’m gonna do a thing inspired by another person

Reblog if your blog is safe for autistic people or is ran by an autistic person!

oh and

Reblog if you stand against Autism Speaks!

How do you calm down when excited? (asking for advice)

Okay, so, I figured I'd ask my fellow autistics for advice.

So I may be seeing my special interest irl at some point. But it's like... I physically cannot view content of the special interest without having to jump up and hand flap while running around my room. Even thinking about it triggers it. I just love it so much. It makes me that happy.

But I have no idea how I will manage it in public, while looking at my f***ing special interest right there in my face. I seriously think I'll have a heart attack for something. The happiness will just be... Aggghhhh I can't even explain it in words.

So, what can I do to try to calm myself so I don't explode when I see them? Preferably nothing too obvious because my family will be there and I don't want to embarrass or shock them by stimming. I know I'll be sweating and blushing like mad.

TLDR: I might be seeing something that makes me VERY happy and I need to know ways to calm down that would be somewhat socially acceptable.

“those who struggle from autism” no i dont struggle with autism its one of the few things i excel at 

there are two sides of neurodivergency: socially awkward and awkwardly social.

After figuring out that I most likely have autism, reading books on it, etc, my life has started to make so much sense. I was berated at a young age for being “weird,” a “freak,” smart but lazy, can’t understand spoken instructions, “a pleasure to have in class” but “needs to raise their hand more.”

Wish I knew earlier

New Obsession Unlocked: Mias World!

Can’t Wait To Obsess/Think About This So Much I Have To Make A Morbid AU About It(Already Have Some Ideas) And End Up Obsessing Over It So Much That It’s Not Interesting Anymore, And Having To Finding Something Else To Entertain Me.

okay fellow autistics & people who have sensory issues or trouble eating specific foods: hear me out.

I’ve been trying my best to eat more fruits & vegetables & more generally “healthy” food (I don’t think we should label specific foods as “good” or “bad” because food at all is better than no food etc, but that’s besides the point) & I’ve realised something.

If I pretend to be a specific animal while eating a certain food, it can be marginally easier to eat. HEAR ME OUT, OKAY?! Put away the reactionary part of you that goes “wow, that’s cringe”, because this genuinely helps me. I don’t care if you laugh, grow up.

For example, if I pretend I’m a bunny rabbit while eating celery or lettuce, it sort of becomes fun! It turns into me playing a part in my head, kind of. I also do this with sultana bran/raisin bran kind of cereal, where I’m like “hehe this looks like bird/rabbit food” & it becomes easier!

I just thought I’d share this trick in case it helps anyone else. It’s alright if it doesn’t help you, but I’m proud of the efforts you’re making to get better at eating certain foods, it’s not easy. & if you’re finding it hard to start trying foods out of your comfort zone, I’m proud of you as well 💕💕